I Did A Thing is our weekly advice column where the Her Campus editorial team helps you out when you ruin your own life (hey, we’ve been there). Email advice@hercampus.com for any and everything you need help with. We’ll answer you (anonymously!) on hercampus.com so we can all learn, together. We’ve got your back.
@lovedup: So, me and my boyfriend have been together for about three months and I already think I’m in love with him. Is it too soon? I’m not sure if telling him will scare him away or complicate things, but I don’t like keeping things in.
@helpmehc: Let me just start by saying: Extremely Same. Whether it’s your first SO or your fifth, it can seem like falling in love quickly means you’re rushing into the relationship. But the truth is that love isn’t one-size-fits-all, and there isn’t an exact time to determine if you’re falling in love too fast.
If you fell in love after being on the rebound, or moved in together after dating three months, then maybe you could take things slower. TBH, three months feels like years when you see each other multiple times a week and have shared experiences of vulnerability and getting closer emotionally. I know I’ve fallen in love with people in way less time than three months – and that’s totally fine as long as you aren’t avoiding red flags or ignoring reality.
Deciphering what’s real love, or what’s just lust and chemistry, isn’t easy – but it sounds to me like this pairing is legit. As far as telling your boyfriend? Love doesn’t come without trust, so if you’re really in love with him, at this point you should be able to trust that he won’t disappear or freak out if you tell him how you feel. Full speed ahead, and best of luck with expressing your feels.