Facebook Stalking & Nagging Texts: Is Technology Sabotaging Your Relationship?

“I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.”
 
I’m sure a lot of us can relate to Mary (Drew Barrymore) from He’s Just Not That Into You. Between Facebook chatting, online dating, tweeting, and texting, there are a million different ways to hook up and start a relationship, but have you ever considered how technology might be sabotagingyour relationship? Laurel Fay, counselor and relationships expert for dating and relationships website YourTango.com, says that technological miscommunications can be a big deal-breaker for some otherwise happy couples.
 
“In my practice this is especially true,” says Fay. “Social media is a factor (if not the catalystic cause) of the issues for most of the couples I see for therapy. Whether it's a seen email, forbidden text, or controversial Facebook relationship status, social technology is rocking our world.”
 
From Facebook to texting and everything in between, sometimes technology can complicate love. Here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself before you let technology sabotage your relationship.

Do you stalk him on Facebook… or Twitter... or Google?
 
Admit it collegiettesTM: we all do it. Whenever we see the notification that our guy is suddenly “friends” with that girl from chemistry class pop up in our newsfeed, we can’t help but be a littlecurious. Facebook searching a first date might be tempting, but virtually spying on your boyfriend can only lead to trouble and, in all likelihood, a break-up.
 
Meredith, a senior from Boston College, learned this the hard way when she broke up with her boyfriend over virtual spying.
 
“It was a really, really bad habit of mine,” Meredith says. “And the worst thing was there was really no excuse for me. He was honest and he’d never cheated on me before or flirted with other girls or done anything to make me think he was anything but a sweet guy. He said that we couldn’t be together if he couldn’t trust me and vice versa. But there was something in me that I couldn’t let go and eventually, it was a big enough of an issue where we broke up.”
 

Fay says that it’s easy to get lost in our own virtual worlds and to forget about the consequences our virtual actions have on real life relationships. “It's too easy to forget,” Fay says, “that behind the computer screen (or iPhone, iPad, or Blackberry screen) there are real people watching, listening, and taking note of our words, pictures, and selves.”