You thought your college love life would be like this,
… but it really looks like this (hello, obnoxious frat guys),
At first you like the late night text messages they send you, but after a while, you can’t handle one more booty call…
… because guys suck.
You decide you’re done meeting guys at bars because in all honesty, you just wanna dance!
But a week later, you start feeling kind of lonely so you say to everyone you know,
And you start doing this every time you go out,
Your flirting strategy works and you’re all excited about your new hook-up buddy,
But then you feel like this,
Your friends ask you why you like cuddling with him so much and you say,
And then they look at you like this,
After that one fizzles you decide to meet guys at the library instead of parties and every time a male walks by, you say,
Then, one day, your lab partner asks you if you want to hook up and you just look at him and say,
You go back to your dorm and Skype your ex-boyfriend from high school (rebound!).
Back home over winter break, your grandma asks you if there are any new men in your life and you tell her,
But back on campus, you open up a bottle of wine and say to yourself,
You wonder why your hook-up buddy won’t commit already.
But your friends tell you not to cry over boys.
So you go out for a night of fun and end up meeting a new guy at the bar who tells you that you’re beautiful.
You come home at 2pm wearing last night’s clothes and your roommates look at you like this,
But it’s okay because college is the time when it’s acceptable to be a little bit promiscuous.
You text your “new guy” the next day to tell him you had a great time (as if he had just taken you on a first date). You can’t stop talking about him.
He never answers so you sit around all day saying this,
Your friend tells you how awesome her boyfriend is and you just want to ask her,
You’re a senior in college and have never had a boyfriend so you’re convinced that,
But it’s okay because you’ve got your girls and…