Thanks to the millions of magazines, rom-coms and love songs our generation has been inundated with since, well, forever, our friends (ok, we’re guilty of this, too) often dole out relationship advice like they’re the next Millionaire Matchmaker or Dr. Phil. And in our minds, in our moments of mascara-running, nose-sniffling despair, we may fully believe we’re being given some rock-solid advice. Half of the time we are. No one’s kind and helpful words can bring us out of a funk like those of our best friend. But, the other half of the time we’d be better off listening to the insightful words of a four-year-old.
Making sense of relationship advice shouldn’t be as difficult as solving the romantic predicament you’ve found yourself in. So, to help you out the next time someone offers their unconventional wisdom, we’ve deciphered the true meanings behind some of the most off-beat relationship tips collegiettes™ have ever been told. Take note as we share our translations of the tidbits of advice these gals received.
They say: “If you’re going to argue, argue naked.” – Amanda at San Diego State University, told to her by her older sister Tanya.
We say: “Arguments should remain calm to keep from snowballing into bigger fights.”
The idea behind this wonderfully sexy yet highly unrealistic advice is if the two of you are sans clothing, you won’t be able to stay engaged in an argument for too long. Since it isn’t totally feasible to rip your clothes off every time you feel a fight coming on*, remember the purpose of your lovers spat and keep a level head. Your beau’s inability to remember your best friend’s birthday shouldn’t escalate into a heated discussion about the time he forgot the four month anniversary of your first kiss. Save yourself the stress headaches and do everyone around you a favor: don’t be the Sammi and Ronnie of your group.
*There’ll be plenty of time to strip down afterwards for a super-hot make-up session.
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They say: “Guys are like buses. If you wait, another one will come around in a few minutes.” – Caitlin at University of California, Davis, told to her by her Driver’s Education instructor.
We say: “Don’t dwell on past relationships for too long.”
Whether it ended amicably or on don’t-ever-speak-to-me-againterms, the relationship did end. And rather than stalk his Facebook profile for pictures of his new girl (that you shouldn’t care about), his wall posts about his guys’ weekend to Vegas (that you don’t need to worry yourself with), or his constant status updates about everything and nothing (seriously, you did yourself a favor), just let it go. Get yourself back and feeling better than ever to catch the next guy that rolls on into your life.
They say: “You know you’re in love when you want to keep holding hands even after they’re sweaty.” – Courtney at Indiana University, told to her by her best friend Shelby.
We say: “If you love him, you won’t be bothered by the little things.”
There comes a make or break time in every gal’s relationship. Will it fizzle out with an awkward “I think we should just be friends” speech or move forward with passionate study break hook-ups and before-bed phone calls? If you can look past all of the little things that may have bothered you about him before, it’s likely you’re headed for the latter. Even the girl whose dating deal-breakers include over-the-top specifics like “his pointer finger can’t be longer than his middle finger,” or “he can’t have ever dated a Veronica, Valerie, or Vanessa” will throw out her list for a guy she really loves.
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They say: “Never let a man do the dishes. No matter how hard he tries, he will never clean them as well as you will.” – Mollie* at Northwestern University, told to her by her Aunt Susan
We say: “Don’t hold your guy to unspoken, unrealistic standards.”
Try as you might to make him into exactly what you want him to be, you’ll never be able to transform a guy into something he’s not. He’s only human, after all. Share your thoughts on how you want your relationship to function instead of keeping your ideas of perfection tucked away in the back of your mind. While you may be the super-girlfriend he never thought he could have, let him be the super-boyfriend you’ve always dreamed of without forcing him to conform to your silly expectations.
Crazy and unexpected as the relationship advice bestowed upon us can be, we do sometimes come across little gems of wisdom that are too good not to pass along. Here are a few that these collegiettes™ couldn’t keep to themselves:
“A professor once told me, ‘If you want an interesting relationship, stay in one.’ He also said the secret to staying in love is to spread out. Don’t do everything together because then you’ll have nothing to talk about.” – Allison, Boston College
“If you can’t be yourself in a relationship, then what the hell are you doing in it?” – Laura, Virginia Tech
“A relationship is 70/30 with the upper hand constantly shifting between people so that there is always give and take.” – Jenn, University of Maine Farmington
“Take your time to make any decision in a relationship. Even if you feel your mind is made up, reflect a little longer.” – Kylie, Georgetown University
What’s the best relationship tip anyone has ever given you?
*Name has been changed.