How Tarot Cards Helped Me Feel More in Control of My Love Life

Before you say it, I know what you’re thinking: I’m just another astrology-obsessed millennial using the Internet to justify her actions with her horoscope-induced excuses. That “mercury is in retrograde,” or that I’m not compatible with certain people because “I’m an Aquarius.”

I totally get where the skepticism might come from. When my best friend introduced me to tarot cards and their capabilities, I didn’t believe her. I didn’t fall for the whole fortune-telling thing, and obviously a bunch of questions ran through my mind. How was she letting playing cards control her love life like this? Why waste time when we could be doing other things—like meeting real people? Why couldn’t she just stick to following her regular weekly horoscopes?

But I checked myself. I gave in and decided to experience a tarot card love reading for myself. The YouTube search hole began, and I was immersed. This was when I realized that there were major connections between tarot and astrology, a fact that made me feel more comfortable with the predictive nature of the cards.

Astrology is based on planetary alignments, and its foundations are mathematically and astronomically based. However, tarot is based on one’s own personal interpretations. The reason people use the zodiac for tarot readings is because it gives the reader (or the person exploring your cards) more information about how you might behave and feel as a person, characteristically. Tarot resembles astrology in this way, but the differences reflect in their foundations and how conclusions are drawn and interpreted.

My conclusion is that tarot readings, believe it or not, have the ability to influence your love life. Here’s an introduction to everything you need to know about these fortune-telling cards and how they can make you feel more in control of your romantic future.

Tarot 101

To make sure I had my facts straight, I did an Instagram search and found Brigit Esselmont, a total expert who could help get my bearings when it comes to readings. Esslemont is the author of Everyday Tarot and founder of Biddy Tarot which is a website devoted to courses, books, and teachings. She has a following of over 63k on Instagram and 20 years of experience with the practice of reading tarot.

According to Esselmont, there are 78 cards in tarot. Twenty-two of these cards represent life lessons, and the remaining 56 represent the things that happen to us daily—these could be good or bad, and in the past, present, or future. Tarot readings are used to gain insight into the state of your life, usually prompted with a question that you ask prior to the reading. And yes, this can include questions about your love life.

On her blog, Esselmont explains the guidance and feelings of security that tarot gave her. She says, “Instead of worrying about the right meaning for a card, I let the imagery and symbolism of the card guide me.” Tarot cards don’t tell people what’s going to happen. They don’t tell you who you’ll fall in love with or if whether you’ll end up with that special someone that you have in mind. But what they will do is guide people in a direction, and from there the direction they head in is based on their subconscious thoughts and intuition.

Basically, the way in which you prompt a question to the tarot cards could help you to determine what you’re really feeling in your heart. Esselmont says it perfectly: “It’s like holding up a mirror to yourself so that you can access your subconscious mind and tap into the wisdom (and answers) that lives in us all.”

I bought a deck, & here's how it went down. 

I genuinely wanted to hear my tarot reading and interpret that based on where my mind wandered. I went downtown and searched for a deck of tarot cards, and finally found one with an instructional book.

I’m about to get real personal here, but love and romance, especially when you’re in college, can feel super complicated. For me, it’s the last thing on my mind, and if anything, it’s an added layer of stress. I don’t know where to start when it comes to anything, it’s an added layer of stress. I don’t know where to start when it comes to my love life, but I could definitely use more control over it. I’d like to know where what direction I’m heading in, because I hate feeling uncertain.

Once I started giving myself regular readings, tarot cards made me feel like I was finally in control. They help me tap into my deeper subconscious. In the past, whenever my friends gave me advice on my love life, it was a reflex to reject the advice or lash out, because I don’t know what to do or think. Romance and relationships are confusing! The cards remind me to stick to my gut feeling and apply more confidence to my intuition. Being in control of the cards mimics the control that I’ve always wanted over my mind and relationships. 

I also realized that every reader leads the interpretation differently, because love means something different to everyone. I invited my best friend over and we put our love lives into the cards. We did readings for each other and truly let our minds and energies interact. We decided that the cards were telling us to find closure and focus on ourselves and bigger ideas instead of pursuing new partners. Sometimes, that’s what your love life needs: self-love. Maybe that’s not always the case, but for us, it’s what we wanted and we listened to the cards.

While there aren’t enough tarot cards in the world to guide me through life’s maze, narrowing it down to 78 cards grounds me a little more than usual. The cards allow me to reflect on my subconscious thoughts that I’ve always tried to avoid. And while I appreciate the guidance that tarot cards can provide for me, I can also see that the cards are truly up to my own interpretation.

My point is, if you want closure, you are going to convince yourself that you need and deserve closure. If you need that special someone to notice you, the cards are going to help you realize that you need to put yourself in the spotlight. Your love life is what you want it to be, and how you interpret the cards is up to you.