When we were growing up, Spice Girl mania took the world by storm—and as little collegiettes in the making, we openly obsessed over our favorite Brits. From Scary’s massive mane of hair to Sporty’s awesome athletic look, we couldn’t help falling in love with the Spice franchise. But what we didn’t realize at the time was that the music playing through boomboxes and Walkmans would actually help us when it came to relationships as we got older. We’ve put together a list of the Spice Girls’ best lyrics that can help you put a love crisis in perspective… all while doing it in a ‘little Gucci dress.’
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” – “Wannabe”
If there’s one thing the Spice Girls prided themselves on, it was girl power. Because when it comes down to it, boys come and go, but your true friends will always stick by your side. That being said, you can’t let your boyfriend completely ignore the friendships you’ve had since before he was ever in the picture (or even the new friends you make after you get together). The kind of people you’re friends with is a sign of who you are as a person, and if he can’t be bothered with your girlfriends, then is he really someone you want sticking around?
“When I got my first boyfriend. . . all my friends were VERY picky and [tried] to find anything bad about him. At first your friends may be skeptical, but if the guy is great, they will accept him,” Hailey Craig from Columbia University says.
For your friends, accepting a new guy may be tough. But the only way for them to click is by hanging out and spending time together. It may take some time, but friendships don’t typically happen overnight. Give it some time, and (fingers crossed) your boyfriend and your girlfriends will approve of one another.
“And all that I want from you is a promise you will be there. Say you will be there.” – “Say You’ll Be There”
Whether he’s your partner in crime or your life partner, he should be more than willing to be there for you no matter the time of day or situation at hand. If he cares, he’ll show it by being by your side whenever you just need someone to sit with you… even if there’s nothing to say.
“My dad got really sick while I was in high school and sometimes I just didn’t know what to do with myself. . . [M]y boyfriend knew that even though I said I wanted to be alone, I needed someone by my side. He used to come over and just sit with [me]. I’d sit there with a blank stare not saying a word, and he just kept holding my hand. Without him, I don’t think I would have ever gotten through it,” Beth*, a collegiette at BC, said. “We’re still together today, even though we go to different schools.” He should want to be by your side when you need him most (and even when you don’t need him at all). If he doesn’t, it’s time to find a guy who does.
“Spice up your life!” – “Spice Up Your Life”
You’re only young once, and as collegiettes, we should be taking advantage of our exciting lives. If you’re bored in your relationship, do something crazy! If you’re bored being single, go out and find a fun, new relationship! But just because we’re growing up, doesn’t mean we need to settle down.
“I was in a relationship for most of high school and into my first year of college,” says Rebeca Teplitz from GWU. “When my boyfriend and I ended things, I was pretty upset. But my friends convinced me to keep going out with them, and before I knew it I wasn’t thinking of my ex and I was enjoying my time in college to the fullest. I met tons of guys that I probably would have never spoken to had I not stepped out of my comfort zone.”
Now is the time to experience wild (but safe!) summer flings, college hook-ups, and everything else that may be out of your comfort zone. Today’s mishaps and mistakes help shape our future relationship criteria—what we learn now will help us know what we want later on, so we might as well test the waters!
“Who do you think you are? Some kind of superstar.” – “Who Do You Think You Are”
There’s a reason Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes split, why Steven Tyler is on fiancée number three, and why Derek Jeter and George Clooney will never get married: you just can’t date a superstar. With an ego that big, there’s barely enough room for you in the bed, let alone in the relationship. The same principle applies for campus superstars. Whether he’s the quarterback of the football team, the class president, the know-it-all, or the frat-tastic fraternity brother, he should be obsessed with you (in a non-stalker way), not with his own reflection.
“In high school, I briefly dated a guitar player who was really into the fact that he could play so well. Sure, it was hot, and at first I felt like I was in a movie whenever he serenaded me,” Kate Moriarty from Skidmore College said. “But then it got to the point that every ‘date’ comprised of him practicing guitar in front of me, or towing me along to jam seshes with friends, or telling me how incredible it was that he gotten so good so quickly. I had wanted to be his girlfriend, not his groupie/#1 fan, so I left him and his ego alone together.”
If they’re far, far from the A-list and still think that highly of themselves, then the only thing you should be doing is running far, far away. A relationship is about two people, so if your boyfriend is too busy arrogantly parading through campus as you hold his books, it may be time to reconsider your relationship.
“Back then I didn’t know why, why you were misunderstood, so now I see through your eyes… every little thing you said and did was right for me.” – “Mama”
There’s no love like a mother’s. When we were pre-teen pre-collegiettes (a.k.a the awkward middle school years), we fought with our parents. There was most likely a screaming battle in which the words, “You’re trying to ruin my life!” were shouted before the slamming of a door. Back then, a lot of us really thought those words were true, but as mature (I use that term lightly) collegiettes, we now know that our moms really did have our best interests at heart. If I had only listened to my mom circa the early 2000s, I definitely would have been saved the regret of a lot of fashion faux pas, phony friendships, and fake fiancés (we all had those terribly embarrassing crushes!)
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“Rules are for fools, and fool’s paradise is hard to find.” – “Something Kinda Funny”
Unfortunately for us, the game of love and lust has no guidelines like Hasbro’s Game of Life. There are no out-of-bounds limits, no time-outs, no do-overs, and no move-three-spaces ahead gifts. When it comes to love, all is fair.
“When I found ‘sext’ messages and e-mails between my ex-boyfriend and another girl on his phone, I was speechless. All I could do was question what I did wrong, what did I do that drove him to cheat?” Nicole* from University of Miami said. “He said it wasn’t cheating, it was just harmless fun, and when I started thinking about it, he was right. We never sat down and talked about what cheating was to each of us. To him, cheating was physical, but to me, there was emotional cheating, too. I did break up with him, but I kept thinking that, because we never laid out ground rules, this situation was inevitable… and somewhat acceptable, at least in his mind.”
There are no overarching rules of the acceptable do’s and don’ts, but that doesn’t mean you can’t create your own criteria for your own specific relationship: no cheating, no lying, and whatever else you find fit for relationship perfection. While there may be no rulebook, there’s always room for standards and what you expect from your relationship.
“Don’t you know it’s going too fast, racing so hard you know it won’t last… Slow it down, read the sign, so you know just where you are going.” – “Stop”
Just like looking both ways before you cross the street, consider everything before you jump into a heavy relationship. If you hop right in too soon, it’s only going to end badly. Before you can really commit to someone, you need to get to know him, inside and out—and the same goes for knowing yourself.
“I once jumped into a relationship with a guy way too soon and paid the price for not waiting to get to know him better first,” Kate said. “Everything was great for the first month, but then we started to realize that we had nothing in common (and actually didn’t have a lot to talk about… at all). It was the most awkward ending to a relationship I’ve ever experienced, simply because we both had the same thought on our minds: ‘What were we thinking?'”
Lust at first sight can obviously blur your judgment. I’m sure we can all admit to thinking we found love simply by good looks and a whole lot of charm. But after the physical stuff dies down, is there really anything there? There’s nothing more awkward than having dinner with a hot guy and realizing that neither of you have anything whatsoever in common (it’s even more awkward the morning after if and when you leave his place…)
Taking a relationship slow and making sure you both have things in common is the best way to know where this ‘thing’ is going. More important, though, is recognizing certain red flags before you jump in too fast. If he still texts his ex-girlfriend with any kind of regularity, ignores you in front of his friends, cancels plans with you time after time, and leaves you so blinded by the start of a new relationship that you can’t see any of these major stop signs, then you’re only asking for trouble later on. Don’t jump into the deep end until you know you can swim like a pro.
“Love is blind, as far as the eye can see.” – “Too Much”
You can pick your shoes, you can pick your friends, you can even pick your nose if you really, really want to, but you just can’t pick who you fall in love with. Granted, physical attraction may be the start of some of your relationships, but it’s emotion, personality, and that special click that truly makes love happen.
“During my sophomore year, I looked around and realized all of my friends had coupled up and I was left single in the corner. My friends kept trying to set me up with their boyfriends’ friend, but I just was not physically into it at all—I could never in a million years imagine myself kissing him. But pregame after pregame I found myself talking to him, we were the only singles in the room, and before I knew it, I was being drawn to him by his personality. . . I ended up giving him a shot, thinking I had nothing to lose, and as it turns out, I really was falling for this guy. Two years later and we’re still together and I couldn’t be happier,” Heather* from USC said.
Like Heather, all you need is that one conversation that could spark a whole relationship. One second he’s just the less-than-attractive guy you studied chemistry with two semesters ago, and the next, once you’re actually getting to know him, he’s suddenly beautiful… inside and out. Love doesn’t care what you look like—that’s what lust is for. Love is blind to anything but pure emotional connection. Like the corny old quote says, ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover.’ Love could be sitting right behind you in class and all you have to do is give him a chance—you could end up meeting the guy of your dreams.
“Love’s gonna be there for you, you’ll always be someone’s baby.” – “Goodbye My Friend”
Whenever you’re feeling alone, just remember, the love bug will eventually come up and bite you in the butt when you’re least expecting it. Somewhere, sometime you’ll find that person to always call you, “baby.”
“I fell HARD for this guy during my sophomore year at college, said Paige* from the University of Michigan. “Unfortunately, he was a senior, and soon to be miles and miles apart as he went off to grad school. When it came time to discuss the future, we just couldn’t yield to conformity, which would demand that we either a) break up all together or b) put serious pressure on the quality of our relationship by trying to sustain it over long-distance. We had something way too rare to forfeit altogether, and long-distance relationships can squash emotional connections. So, we took the ‘up’ out of ‘break-up’. We agreed to live our lives apart as we were meant to, but most importantly keep talking. Now, even though we may not be sharing time together, we can still talk when we get the chance and we both know how we feel about each other.”
No matter the distance or time that’s passed, there’s someone out there who loves you.
*Names and universities changed for anonymity.