Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!
I’m confused. The guy I really like asked me a few times to get food. We finally made it happen, but we ended up joining some friends of his for dinner, which made it a group date. I still had a nice time, but admittedly I felt a little disappointed. I felt like it was difficult to have a one-on-one conversation with him, let alone feel like I was getting to know him better. After we left, he told me it was nice seeing me and that we’ll plan something again soon. Is this not a big deal that we didn’t have the alone time I had hoped for? – Group Dater at Gettysburg
Group Dater,
So he asked you out a few times, but when you finally go out for a first date, he surprises you with a group date? Hmm, that is confusing. Either way, I’m pretty sure that there is a reason for his madness. Also, after asking some of my friends, this apparently isn’t too uncommon.
So he brought along his friends, right? This isn’t anything to worry about, because what he’s doing is still feeling you out. For all you know, he may really see something with you, but wants to make sure of it first, before diving all the way in. I’d suspect that he turned it into a group date to alleviate some of the one-on-one anxiety that comes with being on a first date. By having a group environment, he leaves himself an out if the conversation dies between the two of you. It really isn’t a bad strategy because it leaves you an out too if something doesn’t go according to plan.
Don’t let this deter you from seeing him again. If he’s comfortable enough to introduce you to his friends on a first date, he’s probably not a player. Most likely, he wanted to see what his friends think of you first. I wouldn’t read too much into it. In fact, if his friends seemed to keep the conversation going and genuinely appeared to have a good time, I would say that this is a very good thing. A lot of guys, myself included, value our friends’ opinions highly. So, if we bring them along on a first date, we’re seeking their opinion.
From what it sounds like, you fared pretty well and were able to get his friends’ approval. But remember, the most important thing is that he expressed interest in seeing you out on another date. Since he played the group date card on the first date, he’ll probably want to do something more one-on-one for your second date!
At this point, there isn’t much more to do besides wait for him to ask you out again, right? Well, sort of. Unless he’s clueless when it comes to body language, I’d imagine that he noticed you were a bit underwhelmed at the idea of a group date and may be worried that the date may not have went as well as planned. There is a good chance that he’ll ask you out on another date, but why not go for the sure thing? Shoot him a text telling him that you had a great time and you’re looking forward to getting to know him more personally on your next night out. This will send him the right message and remind him that you want a date between you and him (instead of you, him, and his bro entourage).