Real Live College Guy Sean: He Wants To Be FWBs, But I Don't Hook Up

Broke from calling late-night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

I started the school year off by being introduced to a guy who everyone said was my perfect match. Needless to say we hit it off right away. We had a few coffee and lunch dates with great conversation before he actually kissed me. The relationship seemed to be headed in a more "serious" direction before our campus went wet and he started partying at his new fraternity. After this weekend he told me that he just wanted to be friends with benefits (we never did sleep together). I refused and he seemed angry, but has still continued to call me asking to go out for coffee or a meal. Does this guy really just want sex or is he just confused? - I Do Not Hook Up at Indiana

Ah, the influence that a fraternity can have. Fraternities can be a cool place for guys to meet new friends, party basically whenever, and experience a seemingly constant stream of girls. In some frats, you even get to wear pinnies, snapbacks, and say “bro” every sentence (who wouldn’t want to join?).

When hanging out with their bros in an environment like a frat house, some guys don’t like to have strings attached. This is what worries me. He seemed like a good guy before hanging out at I-Atappa Keg, because he was. But let’s face it: because the number of women attracted to frat bros seems high, it can cloud a guy’s judgment. Most will do anything to stay single, allowing them to mingle with as many ladies as they want, for as long as they want. Sadly, this is likely what’s going on with this guy, which makes me question his character more than I’d question the Jungle Juice at one of his parties.

If he’s persistent in asking you to hang out he’s probably still into you, but his motives are questionable, as he clearly cannot commit. I would guess that he’s attempting to keep you around because he does have some feelings for you. However, he still wants to remain an eligible frat bachelor for those wild party weekends. Essentially, he wants his cake and to eat it too. Because of this, I don’t think this guy is worthy of your affection. It feels pretty sketchy that he tells you he doesn’t want to date, yet continues to ask you out. I’d meet him one last time to not only hear him out, but to once again tell him what you want from him. Stay strong and let him know that you’re seeking a relationship, not friends with benefits. Remember, if he cannot balance a steady relationship and life with his friends, you probably wouldn’t want to date him anyways, and it’s probably best to just stay friends… bro.

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Couple Flirting

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