Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!
Okay, so here’s the thing. I’ve been forever single, in EVERY sense. I’ve never had a hook-up or been on a date, let alone been in a relationship. I actually like a guy who I think I could actually be with, but I’m not really sure if I know how to get UN-single. And perhaps an even bigger problem is that my crush doesn’t know exactly how to get UN-single either. Neither of us has ever been in a relationship, and even though I’ve been making efforts by texting him and sending him a corny Valentine’s Day card, I don’t know how to do more than this. Right now things are safe, and I’m not fully comfortable putting things right out in the open and being like “Hey, I like you, but I’m totally incompetent.” I’m also just really scared of being in a relationship. I can feel it coming, slowly but surely, and I don’t know how to handle it. And he doesn’t either. Any advice? – Forever Single at Franklin & Marshall
Hey Forever Single,
What you have here is the beginning of a great romantic comedy, a classic boy-meets-girl-and-neither-has-a-clue-how-to-form-a-relationship-which-is-what-binds-them-together-in-the-end, kind of film. Now all you need to do is cast some nerdy but lovable actors, and watch the box office earnings roll in. It’s like Never Been Kissed, but with a relationship.
Kidding aside, you actually have a pretty great opportunity here. But first things first: you mentioned that you’re scared of being in a relationship. So the first thing you need to do is make sure that you’re ready for one. This not only means smiley faces, flirty texts, and holding hands, but also putting your heart out there for someone else. It can make anyone feel vulnerable, but the risk is worth the reward. Make sure that you’re ready to commit to this guy. You are? Okay, now breathe. Relationships aren’t anything to fear, they’re supposed to be fun!
Ok, now onto the advice. He likes you and you like him, right? So essentially it’s a waiting game until someone makes a big move to officially set this relationship in motion. However, since neither of you is really experienced in this sort of thing, this can be an intimidating thought. Regardless, someone needs to make a leap.
If you think he’s too shy to make a move (even though he totally should), why not you? Make this a Sadie Hawkins relationship. Nice move on Valentine’s Day. Even though you’re not super sure of what to do, at least you did something. It’s scary, but through your awkwardness, you two can develop a unique relationship. Let the awkward things be funny and don’t be afraid to laugh at one another’s cluelessness. If you’re interested in one another, there’s nothing to worry about!
Aside from sitting down to define the relationship, perhaps invite him to a couple’s only event with your friends. Why not cook a quiet dinner for the two of you, ask him to a formal dance, or see if your school is running a day trip to a big city? Anything that couples do will make him come to his senses!