Real Live College Guy: He’s a Bad Texter & He Won’t Call

We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you're stressed about a fling gone wrong, a wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Jon is here to help you navigate the college dating scene!

What's up with my boyfriend? I can't get him to video chat or call me without me asking if he will. Most of the time he doesn't want to. We'll text but the conversation isn't good. We've been together officially for over five months now but have been exclusively "talking" for much longer. Should I settle that he's just introverted or something? – Frustrated


Dear Frustrated,

Well it appears you have good reason to be annoyed.

Your boyfriend should be aware that he needs to communicate through more than just text. A foundation of any good relationship is communication; without it you are doomed for failure.

If he has never used different communication channels outside of texting for the whole time you have been together, you may have to accept it or break it off with him. If he has always been this way, by which I mean failing to meet your needed level of communication, then he probably will not change. Forcing him will be useless. If he does not realize that he has to make the change for himself and your relationship, then he will not change no matter what you do.

On a different note…

Let’s say this is a new pattern of behavior. Five months in and he has gone rogue. If this is the case and he has no other pressing reason to be aloof, then my guess is he is losing or lost the feelings he had for you. He is trying to use this distance to either get you to break up with him or get you two on worse terms so he feels more justified breaking it off. This is a common tactic played by immature men.

Either way, my advice is to talk to him in person and tell him how serious you feel about the lack of communication. If he still will not fulfill your simple need for communication, then he is not worth your time.

-Jon

 

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