Real Live College Guy Dale: I Want More Than Just a Hook-Up

Tired of having to sort out the “nice guys” from the “bad boys”? Want to move up from one-night stand to full-time girlfriend, but unsure of how to do so? Stop worrying, because Real Live College Guy Dale is finally here to help with all of your collegiette love kerfuffles and help steer you clear of any unnecessary drama during your brief but ever-important time in college.

It makes sense that the guys I meet out at parties or in bars typically aren't looking for a relationship or for more than just hooking up. Are there places around college campuses where a girl might be more likely to find a guy actually looking to settle down? – Looking at Lancaster

Looking,

I don’t know a lot of people who are looking to settle down in college. As is frequently touted, college is about finding yourself and finding what’s best for you. College students are, for the most part, looking to party and to find out what they like and dislike in a person before they figure out whom they eventually do want to settle down with. Think of it like tasting a bunch of different ice cream flavors: you’re bound to find ones you really like and ones you don’t like at all, but in order to find that one flavor you really love, you have to try a lot of other flavors first… and that can take some time.

The people I know who do settle down while still in college are people who met in high school or people who started dating earlier in college as opposed to later in college.

But don’t fret. There are a couple of options out there!

What are some things you enjoy doing? Do you like books? Do you like dancing? What about cooking? Think about your hobbies and try to meet people who participate in those hobbies. Instead of looking for guys at parties (most of whom are going to be too wasted to remember your name the next day anyway), find some guys in places that don’t involve alcohol or loud music. You might consider joining a club or intramural sport to aid your search.

As strange as it sounds, you might also consider online dating. Being a college girl, you’re bound to run into a few (a lot) of questionable guys while using online services, but if eHarmony commercials are anything to go by, you might have some luck finding a guy to settle down with there.

But when it comes to finding people on college campuses, I think you’re going to be hard-pressed. It isn’t an impossible task by any means, but “settling down” isn’t something that a lot of students are focused on.

It goes back to that old saying of “a watched pot doesn’t boil.” The more you look, the less likely it is to happen. Do some scouting, sure, but don’t go on dates for the sole purpose of looking to settle down.

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