Real Live College Guy Andy: I Like Him, But He's Hooking Up With Another Girl

Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the "boys will be boys" conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.

I met this guy a few months ago through a friend, and after a couple times of hanging out in a group we hooked up. I didn't see him for a while because he went away for the summer, but he recently got back into town, and we've started hanging out. I always hear from mutual friends that he finds me attractive, and I've recently started developing actual feelings for him. Every time we hang out it just feels natural. We goof around, he's super touchy but not overly so. The problem is that he casually hooks up with the same girl and has for some time. She keeps asking him to become official and he says no. Any chance he might be interested with me? - Confused at Colby


First of all, yes, there is a chance. But from what I can surmise of this fella’s actions, he is perfectly content hooking up with both you and this other girl. He keeps turning down this girl’s request to be exclusive and, yet, she still gives him the time of day. In a lot of guys’ minds this is a dream scenario: hooking up with multiple girls without having to choose between them.

Now while hooking up with both of you is perfectly acceptable behavior on his part (he is not cheating since he isn’t exclusive with either of you), I just question if this is the type of guy you want to become serious with.

Call me old-fashioned, but if this guy finds you attractive and the two of you get along great, why should he need this other girl? I still believe the story goes “boy meets girl, boy asks girl out (or vice versa), sparks fly, and eventually, boy and girl end up married with kids.” There’s no room in this story for another girl.

Going back and forth between hook-ups is just (for lack of a better word) icky to me. I have never hooked up (even just making out) with girl A, then girl B, then back to girl A, and then back to girl B again.

Personally, I would stay away from this guy. It’s probably advice you weren’t looking to hear but there are plenty of other guys out there who would gladly date you and only you. Again maybe I’m living in relationship fantasy land but at this point, the guy you are interested in sounds like the typical college guy looking for a hook-up no strings attached.

So yes, I’m telling you there is a chance, but I wouldn’t be as excited about those chances as Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber. Now your chances are certainly higher than one in a million (probably more like one in four), but the odds are still not in your favor . If this guy has the same feelings for you that you have for him, wouldn’t he have asked you to be his girlfriend by now? For some reason, he still feels the need to hook up with this other girl, so it appears to be a case of he’s just not that into you if he needs to the affection of another girl to satisfy his needs.

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