Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.
I’ve had a bit of a problem ever since I’ve entered college. I’m pretty self-assured, nice, funny, and intelligent. I’ve got a lot going for me and I like myself. I’m also a virgin, which I’m guessing is pretty readable by any guy who passes me by. I get labeled as the “good girl” and hence, guys that I happen to fall for put me in a category, which makes them not want to try anything with me. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t hook up with a guy I actually liked, but guys just never give me the opportunity because they automatically put me in the “good girl” category. How do you get a guy to see you as more than just the “good girl” he should probably return to when he wants to put a ring on a girl’s finger? – Good Girl at Goucher
Good Girl,
I’m having a hard time figuring out why guys are labeling you in such a way. Your actions should not give away whether you are a virgin or not. Do you not go out much? Are you always studying? This situation baffles me.
Most of my guy friends would tell you being a virgin is a better reputation than getting around too much. Sounds to me you are just having bad luck and falling for a string of douche-y fellas. Some might tell you that guys are turned off because of this absurd idea that girls become attached to their V-card takers, but I’ve never bought that excuse. Any guy who uses that as an excuse is a man-sl*t in my opinion.
As for trying to get guys to give you more of a chance, I’m thoroughly as befuddled as you are. I’ve never been around guys who label girls in such a way. Most of my friends would only stay away from a girl if she’s the religious type who is waiting for marriage and that’s not you.
The only thing I can think of is that you need to go after a bigger pool of guys because the ones you’re currently after are not quality. Perhaps you need to start looking to meet different types of guys. Maybe going after older guys who are looking for something more serious, or even going after platonic friends whom you find attractive but never really pursued.
If you are really concerned about your image, there is always the “Easy A” route. You could fake something with a friend or two. Otherwise, I think you just need to cast a new dating net. Online dating, perhaps?