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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Don’t Lose Your Groove Over Break: Where to Look for Winter Romance

The weather might be colder, but there is no reason your love life needs to cool off over winter break as well. Yes, you’ll be home for a month, away from the exciting college parties, the hot guy who lives down the hall, and any other prospects you might have lined up, but never fear! Not only will your heart go on, the break could be a time to try something new, meet some new people in your own town, and have a lot of unexpected fun.
 
So who’s the lucky guy going to be?
If it’s someone you already know, you probably went to high school with him and he’s probably one of the following three:
 
The High School Sweetheart
Remember that guy you dated in high school? The one your parents hated but you insisted you were meant to be with? Yeah, that one. Well, odds are he’s still around and he’s probably grown up a bit since you last saw him. So why not shoot him a text and ask him what he’s up to? Check out a friend’s party together and rekindle the flame, even if only for the month you’re home. College experiences have turned you into a whole new you, so show it off, and find out who he’s become since graduation.
 
The Guy You Could Never Have
The worst part of high school was lusting after the hottest guy in school who I knew I would never have a shot with. At least not back then. But things are different now, for everyone. College has made you a confident, educated, exciting woman, and winter break is your chance to show him what he missed out on for those four years. Talk to some friends, visit some old high school haunts, and you’ll probably cross paths. Then go on and talk to him. Confidence is a turn on.
 
The One You Never Noticed?
I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you aren’t the only one who did some growing up since high school – all the nerdy, awkward, quiet guys have grown up too, and some of them have blossomed into adorably awkward hot guys who have wonderful personalities. One of my best guy friends from high school was pretty geeky, and I never looked twice at him, despite how sweet he was. But when I came home after a year of college, he’d grown four inches and produced a stomach I could have washed my clothes on. Moral of the story: never completely disregard anyone, especially the nice guys. And open your eyes – some of them have really matured. Just don’t break their hearts when winter break comes to a close.
 
High school crushes are fun for a while, but maybe you’re more interested in meeting someone totally new and totally exciting. Hey, I don’t blame you. But where are all the guys hiding? If you’re interested in meeting a fresh face, you might try the following places:
 

Bars

This is the old stand-by for places to meet dates, but it really has earned its spot.  If you’re old enough to drink, checking out a few bars in the area is a good thing to try. Be sure to pick one that isn’t too upscale – most guys our age aren’t looking for a glass of pinot noir and a pianist in the background. Instead, look around your town for sports bars and lively restaurants. Keep an eye out for ones that stop serving food at around 11 – that usually means you’ll encounter a much different crowd than the usual dinner patrons, one that is rowdier, more sociable, and full of guys looking for girls to chat up. Pick someone to DD and go with a few of your old high school friends; order a pitcher of beer and invite some guys to join you in watching the game. Play your cards right and you’ll leave with a few new numbers in your phone.

Bookstores
Bars are good, but not every girl drinks or is into the sort of guy who frequents the bars. Fortunately, there are plenty of guys out there for her, too. I’ve always found that bookstores are a wonderful place to meet new people, and there is almost always an adorable, slightly-nerdy-yet-totally-fine guy reading a book or browsing. Most bookstores these days have a music space and coffee shop as well, offering three places in one to hunt down some hotties. Don’t be afraid to share a table with a beautiful stranger in the cafe, and never stop yourself from striking up a conversation with someone about the book they’re reading. Keep the conversation going and you’ll soon find yourselves talking about much more than books, and forging a stronger connection than you would at any frat party.
 

Karaoke Nights

In my town, a couple restaurants host karaoke nights once a week, starting at 10pm. After doing some research, I’ve learned that this is a fairly common thing – you just need to take the time to look. The restaurant will be filled with college kids, some crowding the bars and others grouped around tables, but everyone will be talking to everyone else. Go get dinner with some old friends and dare each other to get up and take the mic. It doesn’t matter how well you sing – in fact, the worse it is, the better. Everyone in the building will love you as long as you’re having fun, and more than a few guys will be ready to tease you about your performance. Roll with the punches like a champ and throw a few of your own after hearing their awful voices, and they’ll absolutely adore you. For song choice I recommend something classic like Britney Spears, Cher, or “Baby Got Back”. Everyone will join in.
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Coffee Shops
This one is the sober, more intellectual and artsy version of a bar. Find a table, and don’t be scared to sit down next to someone who piques your interest. In most coffee shops, people are more than happy to tell you exactly what sort of brilliant concoction they ordered, so ask! “Is that a triple venti soy, no whip, no foam mocha?” you’ll say. “Actually no,” they’ll reply, almost proudly, “It’s a venti soy caramel macchiato.” Compliment them on their beverage choice, and you’re off and running. If this isn’t your style, or you aren’t familiar enough with the subtleties of coffee, just ask your target what they’re reading, or what they’re so engrossed in on their laptop. From there the conversation can evolve into musical tastes, literature classics, and what the two of you should do on your first date.

Online Dating
There is definitely a bit of a stigma attached to online dating. Odds are you’ve laughed at someone for using a dating website – I mean, really, how desperate can someonebe?! But embarrassing or not, they’ve stuck around for a reason: they really work. There is a variety of dating websites out there to choose from, but they vary in prices, clientele, and effectiveness, and it can be difficult to pick the right one for you without any experience. For a college woman interested in meeting new people, not paying anything for the site service, and staying safe while doing so, I’d recommend either Plenty of Fish (plentyoffish.com) or OK Cupid (okcupid.com). Plenty of Fish is definitely the most straightforward and the easiest to manage – it’s totally free and quick to set up a profile, but it seems a bit less professional than OK Cupid, and you miss out on some of the features offered by other sites. OK Cupid has the same design as Plenty of Fish, but it’s a little more organized, it includes an Instant Messaging function, and it matches you to people based on your profile and answers to questions. As a former user of OK Cupid, I have to admit it really works – several friends of mine have had great relationships as a result. Even if you’re not comfortable actually meeting up with any of the people you talk to, it offers a little ego boost during the depressing winter months.
 
Music Stores
Thanks to iTunes and all sorts of pirating programs, music stores are catering to a very specific clientele: the people who still care about getting integrity with their music. They want the CD, case and all, not the iTunes download, and they’re sticking to their guns. You immediately have an advantage in a CD store because you can tell by looking at the person what sort of music they like and whether or not you have any hope of discussing it with them. For example, if I see a hot guy holding up a Metallica CD, I know I don’t have a shot in hell of keeping a conversation going. On the other hand, if I see a guy looking at Macklemore’s latest album, I’m going to ask him what he thinks about it. Once again, don’t be shy – music is something most people love to talk about, and you already have an advantage in this setting.
           

A Club

If you’re home, bored, and looking for a fun one-nighter or something that probably won’t turn into anything serious, get some girls together and head to a club. Most likely there’s some sort of dance venue within a 20 mile radius of you, so hit it up. Not only will you have the chance to dance with a few attractive guys, but you also have an opportunity to pull out your sexy clothes and get dressed like you would for a weekend at college. That’s the worst part of winter break, after all – nowhere to wear all your hottest outfits. Roll through the door feeling great about yourself and the guys will be flocking to you. Just be careful – don’t compromise your safety or no one will have any fun. In this situation, it’s best to always stick with a friend and play hard to get. 

Work
It’s sad but true: some of us have to become working girls over the winter break. But don’t get too down about it. Your job may not be the most glamorous, but it’s a chance to engage daily with other people, and they’re probably just about your age. Whether you’re a cashier, a waitress, a receptionist, a dog-walker, or babysitting, make time to interact with the customers, your fellow employees, and the people around you. Smile at the cute guy you’re ringing up or serving, and if you’re stuck watching kids for the day, take them on an outing. No matter what, never be afraid to be friendly and talkative. Just don’t let a relationship with a coworker get in the way of doing your job.
 
Winter Break relationships are hard because you know they probably won’t last. But that doesn’t mean you should become a hermit and refrain from talking to anyone you could possibly be interested in. No, on the contrary. Instead, talk to everyone! Don’t limit yourself to one love interest; have a whole slew of them! Be up front about your intentions and what you’re looking for, as well as the fact that you’ll be returning to college in a month, but then go ahead and have fun.  Just be careful and stay within your comfort zone. The holidays are a time to enjoy yourself, and finding a guy to kiss on New Year’s Eve definitely sounds like a good time to me.

A junior at Mount Holyoke College, Madeline is majoring in English with a minor in Art History. Currently she is serving as an editor for the MH News, as well as Social Chair for the class of 2012. Her interests include art, traveling, competitive sports, writing, reading, animals of all kinds, and spending as much time with her friends as possible. Her goals include publishing her fiction, and seeing and writing about as much of the world as possible.