Are the real men in your life just not doing it for you? It might be time to steal away for a weekend with a mug of tea and a book containing one of these fictional dreamboats. It may sound a bit drastic, but admit it—there are certain characters you wish you could bring to life off of the page. Here are some of our favorites:
1. Westley from The Princess Bride
It’s probably not best to pine after a guy straight out of a fairy tale, but how can you say no to Westley? He starts out as a simple farm boy who is driven by the depths of his love for Buttercup across oceans, swamps and torture chambers; and through it all, he becomes a man of the world. He duels, outwits his enemies, sprouts off witticisms and does it all looking like a prince. Not to mention, his catchphrase is, “As you wish.” You can’t judge a girl for sighing dreamily at that, can you?
2. Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars
Alright, so maybe he’s a bit pretentious and verbose, but there’s no denying that Gus of John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars would make for a great boyfriend. Even in the face of “a touch of osteosarcoma,” he remains on a “rollercoaster that only goes up” with a zest for life. Particularly be-my-boyfriend moments? When he says to his girlfriend Hazel: “I’ll fight it. I’ll fight it for you. Don’t you worry about me, Hazel Grace. I’m okay. I’ll find a way to hang around and annoy you for a long time.” Swoon.
We might not be able to snag a guy who will bring us to Amsterdam to meet our favorite authors like Gus did for Hazel, but if we could have just one date with a guy with such a passion for experiencing everything that he can with his girlfriend, we’d be very, very happy girls.
3. Fred or George Weasley (or Fred and George Weasley) from Harry Potter
While there’s no denying that Harry and Ron are strong contenders for most dateable Harry Potter men (as are Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Neville Longbottom, Cedric Diggory… how are we supposed to choose just one?!), it’s the trickster twins that make our list. Tragic ending for half the duo aside (we’re still pretending that didn’t happen), both the twins are seriously swoon-worthy. They’re downright hilarious, they’re family men and hey, they’re small business owners to boot!
Plus, admit it: we all would want to marry into the Weasley family one way or another.
4. Peeta Mellark from The Hunger Games
Both sides of the Peeta vs. Gale debate have their pros, but a girl’s gotta side with the guy who can bake. (What? We love our carbs.) Not to mention, Peeta Mellark has other things going for him, too. He’s compassionate, selfless and the right amount of hopeless romantic to make us know he’d be down for a night of cuddling. Not to mention the way he can toss around those bags of flour—you’d never need to hire movers again.
5. Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird
Let’s get this out of the way: Atticus Finch is the original literary DILF. Before you shake your head and ask us what we could possibly be thinking, think about it: Atticus is a lawyer—one with a sharp mind and heaps of integrity. He’s polite, looks dang good in a suit and does the job no one else wanted by honorably and fairly representing Tom Robinson, a black man who has been accused of raping a white woman. Who says justice can’t be sexy?
6. Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings
Aragorn is the ultimate tall, dark and rugged warrior. On his journey to claim his rightful place on the throne of Gondor, he proves to be both a great leader and modest despite his hulking destiny. For girls who are fans of the strong, silent type, Aragorn is definitely your man. Not to mention, he looks so good when he gets down and dirty that we might not even complain about how long he goes between showers.
7. Ed Kennedy from I Am the Messenger
For those unfamiliar with Markus Zusak’s I Am the Messenger, protagonist Ed Kennedy starts out a down-and-out underage taxi driver with few credentials under his belt. So why should we want to date him? He straddles the perfect line between humble and self-deprecating, he can cook, he’s loyal to those he loves and by the end of the book, he can say he’s stopped a robbery, saved a life, planned a picnic and mended multiple relationships. Ed is a hero with a huge heart: a perfect combination.
8. Mr. Knightley from Emma
We know, we know: When we say Jane Austen, you say, “Mr. Darcy,” but hear us out. Aloof, arrogant and witty might read well on paper, but who needs all the trouble? George Knightley, on the other hand, is just… a genuinely good guy. He’s got his own place and his own job, and he has his life together in general. Not to mention: hot older gentleman alert. We’ll take kindness and compassion over witty banter any day—not that Mr. Knightley doesn’t offer that, too. He has just the affinity for sarcasm and the patience needed to match Emma. Sign us up.
9. Levi from Fangirl
This guy might not be on your radar yet, but believe us, he will be. Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl follows Cath, a girl swept up in the fictional universe of her favorite fantasy series, and the boy who accepts her and all her nerdiness. For the girls lusting after any of the boys in our list so far, a guy like Levi—goofy, honest and open-minded – is a necessity. If you’re lucky, he might even ask you to read your favorite passages out loud, just like Levi. A girl can dream, can’t she?
So, whether you go for the Mr. Knightleys or the Weasley twins of the literary world, never deny yourself a night in with your favorite fictional boyfriend. Remember, you can always put them back on the shelf when you’re done with them. And aren’t low-maintenance boyfriends the best?