Valentine’s Day is coming up and you don’t have a date, but who cares? This Hallmark holiday is pretty overrated anyway. You’d much rather do something more useful (and less painful) with your time. Here are 19 better things to do than go on a date for Valentine’s Day.
1. Shave your legs
Then you can cuddle under your freshly dried sheets all by your damn self because who needs a valentine?
2. Get your period
You can lay in bed crying while eating all the Valentine’s Day-themed chocolate your hormonal self desires.
3. Have your wisdom teeth removed
You’d much rather be confused from laughing gas than from a date who sends mixed signals.
4. Retake your most difficult class
You’ll come across less obstacles with this than with trying to figure out a person.
5. Drink straight out of a handle
Better chance of getting drunk = better chance of forgetting Valentine’s Day.
6. Listen to Kidz Bop on repeat
This hurts less than getting your heart broken.
7. Play 16 squares
You’d rather get hooked on this than a crush.
8. Go to the gym
There’s a better chance of you fulfilling your New Year’s resolution of getting fit than actually getting a date.
9. Eat cereal without milk
This is just about how dry your phone is.
10. Run a race without practicing
You don’t need a crappy date to prove that you’re a failure.
11. Get lost without GPS
You have a better chance finding your way back on the right path than finding your way out of a horrible date.
12. Rub your eyes after doing your makeup
Better to have your makeup ruined than your dignity.
13. Wear heels for the rest of your life
This will be less painful than an awkward date.
14. Wear a bra
This is less annoying than Valentine’s Day.
15. Ruin your nails after a manicure
At least you can fix this, unlike the douchebag who asked you to be their Valentine at the last minute because they had no one else left.
16. Buy a faulty curling iron
This can be taken back, unlike a day wasted on a Valentine’s Day date.
17. Have cramps
This is more bearable than someone confessing their love to you.
18. Hang with your girl gang
Galentine’s Day > Valentine’s Day