As single collegiettes navigating the dating scene chock full of campus cuties, we can be pretty picky when it comes to the guys we date. We have our mental checklist when it comes to finding Mr. Right and even some drop-dead relationship deal breakers that make us shy away from certain types of guys. But it turns out that guys aren’t so different from us, because they have their own checklist when it comes to finding Ms. Right. We talked to college guys at campuses across the country to find out just exactly what they steer clear of when it comes to girls, and we’ve narrowed it down five unattractive types. No, we don’t mean Ugly Betty types, but rather her posse of more unattractive friends.
The Party Girl
I think many girls are guilty of this: you throw back one too many shots of tequila and one drunken texting conversation later, you find yourself stumbling back to your dorm room–heels in hand–the next morning. Yes, this happens to almost everyone at one point or another when we go a little bit overboard on a Thursday night, but don’t make a habit out of it.
When guys meet the Party Girl, they think she is the life of the party. She’s carefree, maybe even a little wild, and from the outside looks like a person they may be interested in. But things can change quickly in the sobering light of day. Her hilarious antics, sociable personality and killer dance moves are great after 5 p.m., but no one wants to date a girl he needs to be drunk to hang out with.
So what do the guys suggest?
Try to avoid using the campus party scene as your regular hook-up spot (let’s face it, you probably won’t find the man of your dreams surrounded by empty Natty Lights). You might have better luck at the campus coffee shop or the park. And if you dohappen to meet that special guy on the dance floor, don’t take things too far that first night. It only goes to show to guys that you are flaky, untrustworthy, or worse: sleazy.
Drake, a senior from the University of Missouri, says it’s hard to have a relationship with The Party Girl, because he never sees her outside of that sticky-frat-floor context. “It might be fun at first,” he says. “But if I’m always going to see you in that party scene – always drunk, hanging all over other guys, all that – I can’t see that girl as trustworthy.”
Jonah, a senior from Boston University sums it up pretty perfectly, “Two words: drunk texts. When you’re texting me at three in the a.m. obviously plastered – that’s not attractive.”
The Arrogant Girl
Every guy likes a smart and savvy collegiette. Who wouldn’t? She can voice her opinion, carry a conversation, and impress his circle of friends in addition to his mom and dad. OK, maybe that’s pushing it a bit, but a girl with confidence can be as sexy as anything. But no one likes to date a know-it-all… and that’s where The Arrogant Girl comes in.
For the Arrogant Girl, it’s all about her. She’s right about most things (if not everything), puts down those who disagree with her, and in conversation, she uses the word “I” about a million times without even taking a breath.
So what do the guys suggest?
Like we said, there’s nothing in the world sexier to a guy than a girl with confidence. And while you shouldn’t dumb yourself down, being too picky can work against you in dating guys. Keep an open mind when it comes to hearing his opinions. Furthermore, don’t try too hard to improve him. The Arrogant Girl thinks she can help the guy she’s with by trying to make him over, but she only ends up causing more problems for the relationship.
Unfortunately for the Arrogant Girl, arrogance and selfishness are close to being the same thing, according to guys. “I love girls with confidence,” says Ben, a senior from Skidmore College. “But there’s a line between having confidence and being too into yourself.”
Phil, another senior from Skidmore, puts it even more bluntly, “There’s nothing less attractive than a girl who thinks she’s hot sh*t.”
The Needy Girl
It starts out innocently enough. You’re sitting bored in another lecture and you text your guy a simple, “What’s up?” with a cutesy smiley face. Minutes, then hours go by and he hasn’t responded. You feel the need to call him. Time goes on and you feel the need to call him 10 times a day. When he tells you that he needs some space, or he’s hanging out at the bar with his friends tonight or busy with classes, you send a barrage of sad-face texts and pull a guilt trip on him. You want to completely deny it–but the truth is, you’ve become a Needy Girl.
You’ve heard of Negative Nancy, but the Needy Girl is an even bigger deal breaker for guys. This girl can’t go anywhere or do anything without her boyfriend on her arm. She calls 15 times a day and flies off the handle anytime she can’t get a hold of him. The main problem is that Needy Girl ruins any chance of a guy missing her by smothering him.
So what do the guys suggest?
Acting like a stage-five clinger is never cute. Being loving and genuinely interested in his interests is perfectly adorable, but no one likes a desperate single girl. Calling, texting, or instant messaging him constantly to “say hi” are guaranteed ways to make a guy lose interest in you. As a general rule, try to loosen up by not answering the phone right away or responding to every text instantaneously.
Keith, a junior from Northeastern University, says this is because,“Being needy can translate into not having a life.”
“My best girlfriends have always respected the fact that I need my space,” says Jordan, a sophomore at the New York University. “Sometimes a guy isn’t ready to talk about his problems or feelings with you and pressuring him to do so will push him further away.”
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The Drama Queen
Every collegiette knows a Drama Queen (or maybe you secretly love drama yourself). And while you and your circle of girlfriends sometimes squabble between each other, one place where drama isn’t going to fly is with the guys.
But causing drama is all too tempting for a Drama Queen. She thinks she’s doing herself a favor by keeping a watchful (borderline obsessive) eye over her boyfriend’s blog, Facebook and Twitter accounts, but she ends up freaking out over every wall post from an ex-girlfriend and neglected text message every time. She loves to dish on the newest gossip and thrives on causing drama whether she wants to admit it or not.
So what do the guys suggest?
Dating doesn’t mean that you are allowed to use your boyfriend as an emotional dumping ground, plain and simple. Instead, be judicious about the things you share with him, even if you’ve been dating for a while. For example, if your dog dies, absolutely go ahead and tell him. If you had another fight with your roommate, you might want to save that for another conversation with someone else. After all, that’s what your girlfriends are for, right?
“All guys get tired of drama queens, no matter how hot they are,” says Paxton, a senior from Hofstra University.
Another pointer for would-be Drama Queens?
“Don’t try little tests to see what I’ll do in certain situations,” says Andrew, a senior also from Hofstra. “I know what you’re doing and guess what? You’ll fail, because it is annoying and shows that you are insecure in our relationship. It starts up unnecessary drama.”
The Big Mouth Girl
Yak yak yak. Big Mouth Girl is BFFs with the Arrogant Girl, since she loves to talk and talk and talk (usually about herself). The Big Mouth is the girl who never knows when to shut up (or stop to breathe). She seems only concerned with what’s going on in her everyday life and sharing her insights. Most girls think it takes two to have a conversation, but not a Big Mouth Girl.
This rambling drives guys crazy for obvious reasons, but it also make men feel a little obsolete since you can chat it up without his input. Then it’s no longer a conversation. You’re not talking withhim, you’re talking at him and you’ve crossed into Big Mouth territory.
So what do the guys suggest?
The biggest thing for guys (and their egos) is taking a genuine interest in them and their interests. You’ll learn that the less you talk, the more you might learn about your guy. Instead of diving headfirst into that hilarious anecdote from class today, ask him how hisday went, if he aced that exam or what he’s doing for the weekend.
“When you talk at me all the time, I tend to stop listening and start thinking about something else, so you’re really just wasting your time,” says A.J., a senior from the University of New Hampshire.
“What I want is to be her boyfriend, not her girlfriend. I can’t stand it when a girl blabs on and on about other people,” says Chris, a junior from Princeton University. “It bothers me because I begin to think you could be blabbing about meto other people.”
Ladies, you’ve been warned! These girl types are ranked as the worst of them, at least by the college guys we questioned. Obviously as girls we all have our moments of drama or nights when we partied a little too hard. The point is not to make it a regular issue. Be on the lookout for these traits in yourself (and on the lookout for those campus cuties)!