Quite literally, nothing prepares you for the loss of a loved one. Sometimes you can sense it and other times it comes right out of nowhere. Being 21, I didn’t think I would ever have to go through the loss of a friend at such a young age. I was totally wrong.
The month of July 2021 was busy, to say the least. Celebrated my best friend’s 21st birthday, the Fourth of July spent, time with a new found sister (literally.) What I wasn’t expecting, though, was to lose two of my great friends in the same week. July 3, 2021, I lost someone who I held very close to me, Dominic Picone. We lost him in a bike accident. Hearing this news while at work had me sick to my stomach, I felt like the world was spinning around me, actually. I sat in my car and stared blankly at my phone, reading through post after post about his death. It was tragic. The whole city felt it, and the car community. It’s September now and it’s still affecting everyone. There’s a sight where I sit and talk to him when I can. It brings me a lot of peace knowing I have somewhere to relax and say a few words. I know he’s listening.
A few days after what seemed to be the worst day ever, I got the news that one of my greatest online friends had passed away in his sleep. I felt like I couldn’t move. “Not again!” I was thinking. How could this happen twice in one week? On July 7, 2021, the day I was supposed to be celebrating my best friend’s birthday, I found out that Ethan had passed. Being that he was someone I had never met in person before, it hurt worse. I had never gotten to hug him or see his eyes in person. It killed me. Not being able to hear his voice on my phone anymore or see his huge smile on my Snapchat, drives me nuts. I see him in my dreams, though.
Like I said, nothing prepares you for a hurt like this, but, you can take it upon yourself to help the hurt. I find myself thinking all the time, “I’m so young, I shouldn’t have to worry about my friends dying!” I almost felt like I was living in fear for weeks after that happened. You can’t live in fear. I have learned to embrace every moment I have with my friends and family because you truly don’t know when the last time you’ll share a laugh, a meal, a car ride, or any moment with them. I talk to my angels any moment I get and I know they are listening and watching over me. Telling others about them? A feeling that cannot be matched. Especially when they ask about the scooter tattoo on my ankle, but that’s a story for another time!