Last week, I went on a date for the first time since my ex and I broke up. I dated him for over two years, so my first date etiquette was a little rusty. So, here are a few of the thoughts that were running through my head before the date, and I’m sure a lot of you ladies can relate!
What should I wear? Heels or flats?
Every girl probably has a hard time deciding on what to wear for a first date. Should I dress up or keep it causal? Should I try to look cute, or make it look like I’m not trying too hard? After parading several outfits in front of my roommates, we finally decided to go with a simple but elegant blue dress…but wait. Heels or flats? The guy I was going on a date with wasn’t very tall, but I didn’t want to limit my wardrobe choices solely based on him. I decided to go with heels, and on the date, I was actually taller than him. I was worried that he would make a big deal about it, but to my surprise and pleasure, he didn’t mention it even once.
What do I talk about?
I’m pretty introverted, so I was a bit nervous about actually talking with this guy for about two hours. What would I say? I thought about topics of conversation, because let’s face it, I’m a dork. But thankfully, he asked a lot of good questions on the date, so I didn’t have to constantly bring up new topics. My advice now? Don’t stress! The purpose of the date is to be yourself and get to know the other person for who he or she is. So, conversation should be easy and honest.
What do I order at the restaurant?
Ladies, we all know we love pasta, but let’s face it—it isn’t easy to eat while trying to look like a lady. I thought about what I would be able to eat while talking without making a mess ahead of time, but I still ended up eating pasta, and we actually laughed about how difficult it is to eat spaghetti without being messy. I’m sure we all think it out—it’s a bit too risky to order a tomato sauce pasta while wearing white, nothing with too much garlic, etc.—at least, you think about these things if you’re a planner like me. In the end, pasta was a good choice, and it tasted great! My roommate was telling me about a first date she went on where she ordered something she had never had before at the restaurant, and didn’t like it. But rather than complain, she just didn’t eat the food and had an awkward experience, and left the date hungry. My advice? Order what you like and don’t worry about being messy, you might end up laughing about the fact that no one can eat pasta in a neat way!
What do I say if he asks about my ex?
I don’t know about you ladies, but for me, this is one of the most stressful thoughts. Since I recently got out of a long-term relationship, I worry that I shouldn’t talk about my ex at all, but so many memories of mine involve him so am I simply supposed to act like those memories don’t exist? Am I supposed to pretend that we never dated? My answer is NO. Guess what? You had a boyfriend. He probably has had a girlfriend before, too. So, if he asks about your past relationships, the decision is yours—if you want to talk about it, go for it! If not, he should respect that.
Will my friends approve of him?
My friends and I really support one another, and we care enough to really evaluate one another’s significant others to decide whether or not these boys are worthy. So, when getting ready for my date, my roommates decided to do watch whether or not he came to the door to pick me up, whether or not he opened the car door for me, so that later, we could talk about the date and decide whether or not this guy was respectful and deserving of my time. Maybe they would notice something that I didn’t. I really value their opinions, because they care about me, and if for some reason, they didn’t think he was good for me, I would definitely take this into consideration.
What should I do if there’s an awkward silence?
Do I ask him if he’s enjoying the meal? Do I ask if he’s having a good time? So, maybe you ladies don’t worry quite as much as I do, but these kind of questions popped into my mind right before my date and made me nervous and anxious. Thankfully, we didn’t really seem to have any awkward silences on our date, but I have had this happen before. However, I’m not sure I can offer much advice on this one other than simply to strike up a new conversation!
Does he know that I stalked him on all social media platforms before our date?
I think in this day and age, everyone searches one another on Instagram and Facebook, maybe even Twitter or Pinterest, before they go on a date. But what would he think if he knew that I looked him up before our date? Would he be offended that I looked at every single one of his Instagram photos? Or would he think its funny because he did the same thing to me?
What do I do if he tries to kiss me?
In today’s world, this is something that girls have to think about, whether or not they may want to kiss the guy back. If so, girls worry about whether their breath smells minty fresh or not. But if the girl doesn’t really want to kiss goodnight on the first date, this is something we have to prepare for. Guys don’t always go in for the kiss, but, unfortunately, we have to be prepared to shut it down in a way that doesn’t seem rude. On my recent date, I didn’t really want to kiss him, even though we had a wonderful time. Thankfully, he just gave me a goodnight hug and didn’t lean in for a kiss, so I didn’t have to diffuse the situation. However, if he had, I was prepared to tell him that I didn’t really want to kiss him. It’s a sad day when girls have to be prepared to fend off an unwanted kiss, but unfortunately we do.
Will he text me afterwards?
If he does, cool. If not, cool. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but as for myself, I know that I get stressed out about whether a guy is interested. But if he isn’t, then girlfriend, don’t give him any more attention. Let him go.