It’s Worth It: 8 Things You Should Know About A Long-Distance Relationship

I am currently going through my first long-distance relationship. It hasn’t been the easiest, but it also hasn’t been the worst. For those of you beginning a new long-distance relationship or debating if being in one is worth it, here are some of the good and the bad things about having a long-distance relationship. 

 

Make sure you keep reading until the end because I saved the best for last. Warning: the following content is extremely cheesy because I am a hopeless romantic.

 

The Bad

 

Physical Touch

The worst part for me is not being able to touch my boyfriend. I am a very physical person. I love hugs and cuddling. When I am sad or stressed (which is pretty often in college), the only thing I want to do is be wrapped in his embrace. It is proven that tight hugs lower blood pressure and heart rates

 

Talking Too Little

Sometimes when my boyfriend and I get really busy and our schedules leave very little time to talk, so we can go a little while without talking to each other. Every once in a while, this can be hard because you may begin thinking negatively after a few days. During these times, it is important to remember that life gets busy, and that’s okay. I still recommend shooting your loved one a good morning and goodnight text to show them that you still care and think about each other even during the busy, hectic moments of life.

 

Talking Too Much

To the clingy couples out there, yes, this is a thing. I am not saying clinginess is bad, but everybody has their own comfort level. There have been days where I’ve found myself asking for the third time “how is your day going?” Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend and I have great conversations—it is pretty easy to do when your boyfriend is really smart like mine—, but sometimes there are times where you need to chill out for a little bit. If you are spending all day every day talking to each other, it will happen every once in a while where you run out of things to talk about. Again, this is okay. Just put down your phone or computer and take some space from each other (even just a few hours can sometimes help).

 

Miscommunication

When in a long-distance relationship nowadays, communication is mainly through texting. There are still a lot of video chats and calls with your significant other, but your main form of communication is text messages or snapchatting. This can cause a lot of miscommunication if you aren’t careful. In text messages, it is nearly impossible to understand the intonation of the other person 100% of the time. If snapchat isn’t being used, then it may also pose a challenge in whether or not your significant other is joking based on facial expressions. Luckily, we have emojis, but those don’t always help. To make matters worse, if you are a heterosexual couple, there are a lot of studies on communication theories that showcase how genders communicate differently. I conducted an empirical research study on how males and females communicate differently over text messages and it supported the current communication theory. All hope isn’t lost; just remember that it is extremely important to remember to be clear in your messages and be understanding if miscommunication does occur.

 

The Good

 

More Communication

Maybe it is just because my current boyfriend is a better fit for me than my exes, but my boyfriend and I talk more even though we are farther apart than my exes and I did when we lived in the same cities. Whether or not that is the case, my current boyfriend and I are really good at taking time out of our days to talk to each other. I get to know if his day was good or bad, and I get to know the highs and the lows of his day. (It is rare that we get so busy that we aren’t able to hear about the other’s day before bed.) This makes me happy because I love hearing about all the things that make him happy, and I try my best to make him smile if he is having a bad day. He does the same for me too. We still try to do this when we are together, but the extra effort put in across the distance shows that the other person truly cares about you even when they aren’t physically around.

 

More Thoughtfulness

I mentioned the extra amount of effort put into making each other’s days better. Since we are apart, he can’t hug me to make all my worries go away. However, when he sends me memes or jokes that make me laugh, it takes my mind off the bad things for a little while and makes me smile. The time he took out of his day to find memes or jokes that I would like takes more time and effort than one hug would if we were in person.

 

Time Together

When I finally get to see my boyfriend after a few weeks of being apart (which is a relatively short time period compared to military couples), my smile couldn’t be bigger. After being apart for a long period of time, just being with the other person makes you truly cherish the moments you do have together. My boyfriend will catch me looking at him a lot during movies or TV shows when we are together because I am extremely grateful to have him with me in that moment. Plus, he is really handsome.

 

Building A Bond

I have found myself realizing over time how lucky I am to have a guy willingly commit to me even when we go through all of the bad things of a long-distance relationship. It will be at least a couple more years before I graduate, but when it comes time to end the long-distance and finally be together, I think we will be able to make it through nearly anything. The bond and trust we have built over the time of us being apart will be exceedingly strong. 

 

Although my boyfriend and I haven’t reached the end of our long-distance, I strongly believe we will be able to make it work. I can’t make any promises because life loves to throw curveballs, but I have high hopes for my relationship and for all of you reading this. When I was younger I heard someone tell me to remember it is the two of you against the problem, not one of you against the other; I think that is important to keep in the back of your mind when you’re trying to make any relationship work.