It’s here: Senior Year.
Every year I’ve watched many friends approach this time in their Wheaton career with delicate emotions. Notice how seniors begin their final year in college much like they began their first year? They’re excited and anxious. They’re a little stressed out, a little overwhelmed. Sure, the years of experience at college have inspired confidence in the choices we make, nurtured belief in our own identities and developed perseverance in the way we defend our convictions. But, there is something about senior year that often invites a helping of doubt to settle a while.
As an underclassman, what I found genuinely amusing was the shared fear, disapproval and denial of the “G word.” Graduation, with a capital G. At the mere sound of the word forming in someone’s mouth, bodies would stiffen, eyes would widen, or hands would shoot up to cover ears while an agitated humming would commence in order to block out the oncoming conversation. (I write from experience!) I remember teasing them, concurrently amusing myself, by bringing up the unwanted topic as often as I could, “Oh wow, can you believe you’re a senior already??” No senior I’ve known in the past ever welcomed the opportunity to think too long or too hard about the quickly shortening path left before them at Wheaton. They would squirm and shy away from the plain mention of the word, graduation.
Even before this academic year began, a friend and fellow senior admitted to me how sentimental she was already becoming. Nostalgia would hit every time she found herself doing something she had done before, back when she was a freshman. Too often and too soon, she was wistfully reminiscing, triggered by the simplest actions, as well as the more time consuming operations – such as setting up a makeshift salon in the dorm bathroom to help a friend dye her hair. In a mix of odd and meaningful ways, we are all making our way full circle.
How quickly the years at college whip by. Were we not just having our first awkward meal at Chase, getting acquainted with our first roommates, or considering possibilities for our Major? So much has happened, so much has been overcome, but really we wonder in disbelief, did three years just go by? I look back and my memories at college gather into a little stronghold of learning experiences, allowing me to welcome my Senior year with wide-open arms. We’re moving into our college dorm rooms for the last time, we’re finishing up our major requirements, and donning our black caps and gowns for convocation.
We’ve worked our way up, from being awkward and cautious freshmen, confident and adventurous sophomores, to inspired and motivated juniors. Now, I feel we are called to be fearless and driven seniors. With all our younger college years tucked proudly beneath our collegiate belts, we can face the year’s challenges with integrity, confidence, and well-earned experience. Yet, there is still much hesitation. Many of us still find ourselves tentatively holding on, not entirely ready to attack the year. We are filled with doubt and questions about our own authority and ability to rise as leaders and examples for our community. In the last three years, how quickly we have changed! Or how slowly? How much have we have grown! Or how little? How many challenges we have conquered! Or how many we have ignored? Each of us begins this year with a set of triumphs and a set of doubts. We look ahead and discover that the road ahead, though the final undergraduate stretch, is still lined with roadblocks and challenges. All the way are opportunities for victories, big and small, and before each of us, a distinct path to graduation.
For some of us, it’s not the coming year that is unsettling and not the word graduation that scares us, but that which comes in its wake: the so-called real world outside our Wheaton bubble, the true unknown, the world which graduation will make ours. Despite these fears, we are eager for the year, though still in shock that we have now grown into the shoes of the upperclassmen we used to look up to. We’re excited to work hard, to shine, and to finish the year strong. Seniors, hold the doubt at a distance and bring strength, leadership, and humility near. Welcome to your best year at college!