I was raised by my mom in a Catholic household, a religion that is no doubt known for being taboo with topics like sex and abortion. While my mom did give me the talk about the birds and the bees and all that, she was still kind of prudish and reserved when it came to specific sex stuff (sorry mom, love you). So what did that mean for me? No porn and no masturbation. No using words like “sexy.” No tight clothes since, in her world, it was more important to hide your body than to show confidence in your figure. And, most importantly, no sex before marriage.
Last year, I joined Her Campus Western as an innocent little freshman and the first event I went to was the Sex Olympics for HC Western’s annual Sex Week. We played several sex-themed games and competitions like Family Feud: sex edition and a lingerie fashion show with toilet paper. Sounds amazing, right? Well, here’s the thing. As I was still not comfortable with my body and my sexuality, I left that event feeling uncomfortable and disturbed. If you haven’t gathered already, I was a virgin and that, alongside my Catholic upbringing, made all of this sex positivity really weird and foreign to me. I remember asking myself after that event, “I’m pretty sure I was the only virgin there, so am I in the right club?”
Anyway, fast forward a few months, and I started reading articles from other girls at Her Campus on sex including Katie Olney’s article, “I lost my virginity to a tinder hookup and my only regret was not telling my mom,” Melanie Elizabeth’s articles, “Naked and Unashamed” and “Let’s stop pretending women don’t watch porn,”Emily Van Erd’s article, “I hope your daughter becomes a pole dancer” and Charlotte Emeljanow’s articles, “Are We Sluts?” and “You don’t have to be naked to be sexy.”While I don’t necessarily agree with every argument made in these articles, these lovely ladies really turn ideas of casual sex, virginity, porn, sexiness, sexting and even pole dancing on their heads. The writers at Her Campus Western made me feel welcome and taught me that while there may be a certain shame or stigma with women losing their virginity, who the f*ck cares? In 2018, it’s your body and your life and it really doesn’t matter what other people think. As long as you feel good and are having fun, then that’s all that matters.
While I am still a virgin, these articles from HC Western empowered me to buy a couple sex toys, start watching porn, buy sexy tight clothes and even make the decision that I will have sex before marriage. I love my mom, don’t get me wrong. But at the end of the day, it’s my body and it’s my life. So, when I am ready and I find a person that I share a real connection with, I will have sex. And hopefully, when that happens, I will be writing an article for HC Western that can empower other girls to feel more comfortable with their bodies and their sexuality, too.
- Don’t Let the Internet Rush You
- I’m Learning How to Love Myself
- Why Didn’t I End It Sooner?: The Self-Discredation Cycle in Relationships
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