Ghosted During Spooky Season: Getting Over the Irony to Get Back Out There

Everything is going great. Sparks are flying. Birds are singing. Lips are locking. You’re already planning the next date because you know that this chemistry is real--when you check your phone again to a lack of texts from them. The familiar dread starts to sink in. But they were different. They wouldn’t do this to you. But more time passes as you try not to send too many texts in a row, and you realize you’re back where you’ve been too many times before. You’ve been ghosted.


It’s almost like a rite of passage in college these days, something that every girl has gone through, but that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less every time it happens. There are a lot of thoughts that seem to run through most women’s heads after it happens. Thinking that they did something wrong, they try to retrace their steps, maybe if they Nancy Drew the situation things will be different next time. But the fact is that if you get ghosted, you are the last person to blame. While this person may have felt that you two just didn’t vibe well, to completely disappear without any explanation is a thoughtless move that no one deserves. This childish radio silence is not something that you brought on yourself, not something that you deserve, and most importantly is not an indication of the person you are, only the type of person they are. Perhaps this is cliché, but someone that inconsiderate is not the type of person that anyone needs in their life.


This is obviously easier said than done to realize, especially if it’s happened to you more than once, which is, unfortunately, more common than it should be. Unfortunately, relationships seem to be thrown in everyone’s faces during this time of year, best known as “cuffing season.” Everyone is looking for someone to spend the holidays with, to snuggle up in front of the fire with, to take cheesy Fall sweater pictures with. It seems as if you’re already in a relationship, life is good. However, this can be the worst time of the year for a number of single people, as they are constantly reminded of that fact. It can seem overwhelming and hopeless to get over being ghosted during this time of year, but it’s important to remember that relationships aren’t everything, and a good one takes time to find. 


Dating is hard. Certainly a lot harder than anyone warned us it would be, but if you’re looking for someone in your life right now, the last thing to do is close yourself off. It’s very tempting after being ghosted so much to just give up, and sometimes taking a break is a very healthy way to step back and prioritize yourself. However, it would be a mistake to close yourself off from all opportunities for good. Take some time to heal, realize that what happened is not your fault, and try to have a little faith in the next guy. Getting back up after each time is difficult, absolutely, but not everyone can be those people who married their high school sweetheart. For the rest of us, it’s a cycle of trial and error. However, anyone that has been in a meaningful relationship can tell you that while it has its ups and downs, it is worth all the effort in the end.

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