If you know me, you know that I am never one to not say, “I love you.” I say it before bed, I say it after I hug someone goodbye, I say it when I’m happy, I say it when I’m sad, I say it in casual conversation – the list goes on. I love love and I am not shy about it. While it might be off-putting to some, I am a firm believer that the more love you spread, the better the world becomes. And I’m just here trying to make my corner of it even the slightest bit brighter.
Mr. Rogers once said, “You don’t have to do anything extraordinary for people to love you.” I couldn’t agree more. If I love you, it’s because you’re a person and, because of that, you are worthy of love automatically, no matter your accomplishments or goals. Of course, I’ll love you for other reasons, too – if you’re kind, if you make me smile, if I enjoy spending time with you, etc. But, regardless of any of that, if you’re around me and you feel anything other than 100 percent loved and appreciated, I’ve done something wrong.
There’s a double edged sword to this whole “let people know you love them” thing, though. Because of my own self-conscious spirit and self-critical nature, I often find myself doubting that I am worthy of love. I know it’s silly and I realize that I sound like the biggest hypocrite on the planet, but it’s true. And it’s not that I don’t feel the love of those around me. Quite on the contrary, I am blessed to know that I am loved by the people I care most about. Yet, I can’t help but feel that there’s some disconnect – somewhere within me where my ability to love others and to accept love from others just aren’t compatible.
It’s the worst feeling on the planet – to feel isolated and alone and unloved, even if deep-down, you know it isn’t true. Perhaps, then, that’s why I go out of my way to make sure that those around me know that they are loved – so they don’t have to be tortured by the same unnecessary, erratic thoughts that I have. I wouldn’t wish such a feeling on my own worst enemy.
What am I doing to correct my conundrum? Taking it one day at a time. I try to breathe and reassure myself that, no, people don’t hate me. No, people aren’t avoiding me. No, there’s nothing wrong with me. YES, I am worthy of love and YES, people love me.
The Beatles said, “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” I believe them.
If you’re like me and feeling needlessly nervous about your standing in the love area, just try to remember that you are wonderful, worthwhile, and absolutely deserving of every beautiful thing that is coming to you – especially love. And, of course, practice some of your favorite self-care and self-love methods to get you even further over the hump. Good luck!