Dear boys of the world,
I have been listening to your complaints about being in the friendzone; a state where one inadvertently becomes a “platonic friend” to another when they were trying to initiate a romantic relationship, according to Urban Dictionary. I’m sorry, what’s so wrong with wanting to keep you around as a friend and nothing more? This apparently is such a phenomenon that MTV made a show all about being in the friendzone and trying to get out of it.
I get it, guys. And trust me, women aren’t as naïve as you think; most of the time we know you’re trying to initiate said romantic relationship. But just because you’re a nice guy doesn’t mean we’re into you like that. And just because I’m not into you like that doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate your qualities or want you around (I guess you take that as being in the “friendzone”, though).
However, there’s one thing that’s even worse than you being in the friendzone. There’s one phenomenon I wish MTV would make a TV series out of; and that’s being in the f*ckzone. This is the zone a guy puts a girl in when they only want to f*ck with no friendship or emotional commitment.
According to one Reddit user, guys only have a f*ckzone. Which in some ways I believe is valid. But, a girl doesn’t want to automatically f*ck you. You shouldn’t expect sex because you’re friends with a girl, and you shouldn’t be friends with a girl for sex, either (because that’s still putting us in the f*ckzone).
It doesn’t matter how you met – be it on Tinder or from borrowing a pencil in biology class. It doesn’t matter if you’re on your first date or your 20th date. What really matters is that you’re trying to deceive someone. You’re playing with someone’s feelings for your own physical gain. Because really, what does any girl get out of the situation? In your mind, you’re probably thinking “I’ll give you the best damn time of your life”, but we don’t want that. What we girls really want is someone who can be there for us after a long day of class or work. We want someone who knows how to make us laugh, our favorite food and favorite color. We want a person who can be there emotionally for us and physically when the time is right.
If you choose not to date me; tell me. Don’t keep taking me out to dinners and movies and filling my life with sweet texts and flowers. Don’t make me think about how life would be like if you were my forever — if I had to introduce you to my family and friends as my boyfriend. Don’t have me thinking long term when you’re thinking about 20 minutes in your bed. Not wanting to sleep with you doesn’t mean I’m not good enough or unworthy, but putting me in the f*ckzone feels exactly like that. Being in the f*ckzone is the worst. You’re aware of a girl’s romantic feelings, and you want what you want with nothing in return.
So, on behalf of girl’s everywhere, do me a favor and keep us out of the f*ckzone.
The girl who’s removing herself from the f*ckzone