On a list of things that create an overwhelming amount of anxiety in a human’s chest, I think that meeting your significant other’s family for the first time ranks pretty high, probably sandwiched between taking an exam you didn’t study for and getting your period while wearing white pants.
It’s incredibly daunting to meet the people who have such a long history with your partner. There are going to be inside jokes you’re not in on. There may be an awkward silence or two.
1. Be Yourself
This may be cheesy, but it’s by far the most important piece of information I could give anyone.
You can’t pretend to be someone else forever. If they’re going to like you, they’re going to have to like ALL of you.
2. Make Decent Conversation
When it comes to having good conversational skills, it can be a little harder than you think. There seem to be 10,000 different ways to ruin a conversation. Sometimes we say too little. Sometimes we say too much. Although conversations don’t have to be awkward. According to Psychology Today, making good conversation is all about being conscientious to what the other person is trying to tell you. Being a good speaker starts with being a good listener.
Also, take note of their interests. If their dad is wearing a Raiders’ jersey and you’re a Raiders’ fan, use that. Just remember to stay genuine.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Stand Up For Yourself
When it comes to disagreements, navigating between when and when not to say something can be tricky. Especially when you’re from a marginalized group. Most of the minorities I know can recount a wild story of their non-Minority S/O’s family sprouting off some racist, sexist or homophobic nonsense, sometimes but not always with malicious intent. Intent aside, it can be a lot of pressure to stand up for yourself as a minority. In fact, this entire bullet could be an article in itself. In the interest of keeping this brief, I’ll just say this – If something is said that really rubs you the wrong way, you’re under no obligation to grin and bear it. If you’re being respectful, then that respect should be reciprocated.
4. Ask About Their Family’s Quirks Beforehand
And ask about more than just their favorite color. Ask your partner about the good, the bad and the ugly. What are their political affiliations? What are their interests? Topics to avoid? Topics to bring Up? The whole enchilada. You’re not going to want to get blindsided with surprise information after you committed a social faux pas. Have your partner give you the 411 before you and the family come face to face.
5. It’s Important That You Like Them As Well
Remember, if you’re planning on being in your partner’s life for a long time, you’re probably going to be dealing with their family quite a bit. And as important as it is that they like you, it’s important you like them as well. I feel as though we get so caught up in worrying whether or not their family likes us, that we don’t even consider whether or not we even like them. Most likely, they’re probably just as nervous to meet you as you are to meet them.
At the end of the day, relax. Sure while every situation is different, there’s probably nothing worry about. Their family eats, breathes and poops just like you do. Besides, if your partner loves you, then I’m sure their family will love you for the same reasons.
At the end of the day, relax. Sure while every situation is different, there’s probably nothing worry about. Their family eats, breathes and poops just like you do. Besides, if your partner loves you, then I’m sure their family will love you for the same reasons.