The internet has yet again made something meaningless into a viral sensation — the latest trend to hit the world’s most popular social networking website, Facebook, involves the creation and “attendance” of satirical Facebook events. Despite being ironic, these events have racked up tens of thousands of attendees.
Who creates these satirical, self-depreciating events? None other than angsty college students, publically and humorously releasing their frustration about finals. With events such as “crying and eating bread by yourself on the floor,” college students everywhere are sympathizing with one another and seeking comedic relief by sharing the events and marking themselves as “interested.” Planning on attending any of these fake events? Each one is linked below to ensure your RSVP.
Mark your calendars, everybody — here are 18 fake Facebook events you would rather attend than study for finals.
1. Crying and eating bread by yourself on the floor (Dec. 31)
Because bread is the ultimate affordable comfort food for the college student who wants to let out a good cry but is trying to avoid the calories and price tag that comes with Ben and Jerry’s.
2. Pretending you’re crying because you’re cutting onions but actually just cry (Jan. 15)
This event is perfect for the millennial — branded by our inability to publicly express our feelings, this event allows the attendee to cry behind the comforting facade of cutting onions.
3. Listening to Drake and crying (Dec. 31)
Taking place in “Marvin’s Room” this event is perfect for the college student looking to ignore the stresses of classes and exams to indulge in Drake’s melancholy music and inevitably call their ex.
4. Crawl under the coffee table and never leave (Dec. 3)
This hiding space is perfect for the student seeking a shelter from their responsibilities. In a space so homey and tight, there is no way your obligations can find you.
5. Pretend like nothing is wrong and live the rest of your life as a lie. (Nov. 29)
*Doesn’t check bank account* *Doesn’t check grades* *Pretends everything is okay*
6. Get beat up by ur friends for attending fake FB events (Dec. 24)
“We know you hate us. Pls don’t kill us.”
7. Calculating what you need on the final to pass and crying (Dec. 8)
We all do this anyway, might as well make it Facebook official.
8. Remembering you have Finals and crying uncontrollably. (Dec. 9)
This is followed by #9.
9. Slowly cry and stare at your work the last night before finals. (Dec. 8)
And then give up, go home, order a pizza and watch Netflix.
10. Drop out of school to become a cat (Dec. 11)
It’s a luxurious lifestyle — the one you deserve.
11. Drop out of college and eat 10 pounds of french fries. (Dec. 13)
French fries are cheaper than tuition anyway.
12. Walking around aimlessly pretending to have ur shit 2gether. (Dec. 13)
Step 1. Go to the library with notebooks in hand. Step 2. Look like you have somewhere to be. Step 3. Do this on each floor of the library and repeat. You’ll look like a winner.
13. Eat and cry next to a llama because finals. (Dec. 16)
The llama is the most soft and comforting animal of them all.
14. Realize how much work you haven’t done yet and take a nap instead. (Dec. 17)
Just lay down and pretend like you’re asleep and maybe your obligations will go away when you wake up.
15. Cry and eat ice cream because it’s ok to fail finals. (Dec. 19)
It’s just finals, you guys, it’s fine.
16. Lying in bed and cryin to Adele and feeling bad 4 urself (Dec. 31)
This is especially worse for those who have friends at other schools who are already done with finals — hello from the other side?
17. Give ur goldfish a bath bc you’re procrastinating studying for finals. (Nov. 30)
But really, when was the last time you gave that little guy some attention? He deserves it.
18. No time 2 study 2 busy attending fake Facebook events (Dec. 21)
You don’t have time for finals anyway, you would much rather attend these 18 satirical Facebook events.