I once read somewhere that university is where you go to find your bridesmaids, not your husband. While that is 100% true, your friends from home are still relevant. Your friends from home are the ones that you ventured through high school with, the friends who stayed up all night with you working on a chemistry project, the ones who stayed with you when your parents went away, and the friends who were there for those disastrous “grade 11 drunk at a park” nights. Your high school friends are the very few roses you’ve picked out from the field of sucky people. And while I could go on for days about the shenanigans that my high school friends and I got into together (my friend Amanda would like me to announce that she’s awesome) unfortunately, those are now just memories. You see, when you go off to university, your best friends eventually become your best home friends. You get so caught up in your new world that you start slowing your communication from just being so busy… with your new best school friends.
The friends that you meet in university give you a special bond, since they experience so many firsts with you so fast. University is the place where you learn about yourself, and the friends you make guide you along that path. The friends that I have made so far are definitely friends that I can see in my life for a long time. That being said, they could never replace my home friends. As you begin to grow closer to these new friends that you practically live with, it’s normal to feel guilty about becoming so close to a new group of people. However, you are not doing anything wrong, and your true friends back home would want you to make these connections and have good experiences. Balancing two separate groups of friends can be hard, but it is possible.
Whatever you do, don’t stress yourself with guilt. As previously stated, you are not doing anything wrong! Therefore, you shouldn’t feel guilty. When you feel guilty, you start to pull away from your new friends and start acting weirdly nice to your old friends – who will definitely know that something’s up. An unnecessarily guilty conscience pushes you away from both of your friend groups and honestly it’s not worth it. Additionally, don’t guilt yourself because you can’t be there for your home friends during tough times. You’re away at school to learn, and although you can’t give them a hug you can still give them a call.
With every relationship, communication is a must. While girl talks with your new friends happen since they’re simply just next door, make sure you still slot in some time to FaceTime your home friends, and a group chat helps as well. If your friends are anything like mine, they talk more when they’re in person rather than over a phone, that’s why trying to FaceTime when they are available should be a thing. I am probably the last person to be giving advice on making a FaceTime schedule, but it’s something I plan to work on.
When you finally get to reunite with your home friends, don’t bore them with constant stories of your new friends. Meanwhile, don’t get too upset about the things that you missed while you were away. There are going to be inside jokes among them that you may not understand, and that’s okay because it will happen. The one thing you have to remember is that they still love you, and it’s not their fault that they have new memories together just as much as it’s not your fault that you weren’t there to experience them.
Growing closer to a new group of friends is nice because you have the excitement of a new relationship. While you still bond on a molecular level with your home friends, your new friends are nice because you have 18 years of wisdom to help you choose the right people for you. As you go on through life you will continue to make new friends, but make sure you don’t dump the ones that helped you get to that point. I cherish both my home friends and my new friends, they are amazing people and I am so lucky to have them in my life.