For many of us, birthdays are a contemplative time, and since I welcomed the lovely 2-2 this year, I thought I would embrace a concept that many people seem to be doing: I decided to make a list of 22 things I have learned at 22.
Now, before I begin, I want to say that many of these are not exactly transcendental insights but they were significant lessons in my life and I think they serve as great reminders for all of us. So, if your birthday is quickly approaching or you are in a reflective mood, I hope some of my lessons resonate with you and help you reflect on your past and future.
1. The people you grow up with are not always the people you grow old with.
Learning this lesson can be incredibly painful, especially if you become the “odd one out” in your group. However, experience has taught me that the best thing you can do for yourself in this situation is to embrace that everything in life is continuously changing. One quote I really like that highlights this concept is, “Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Sometimes they are only there long enough to teach you the lessons that you needed to learn.”
2. Not everyone you meet is going to like you–and that is okay.
Some people are just not meant to become a significant part of your life, regardless of how much you may want them to be your friend or partner.
3. You can try to force things all you want, but it’s only the things that are meant to come your way that will–and those things usually don’t require breaking your back over.
In other words, try not to stress yourself out too much over things that are clearly not meant to be.
4. When you spend your days “waiting for life to happen” you will keep waiting.
Opportunities only reveal themselves when you actively put yourself out there and pursue your goals. I used to sit at home sulking over how boring and miserable my life was, but that didn’t solve my problems. It was when I finally started seeking out resources on campus and getting more involved that different opportunities began finding me. You know that cliché saying that talks about life being what you make it? It’s true.
5. A smile goes a long way.
As someone who has always been extremely shy and relatively introverted, one piece of advice I’ve often received from others (i.e. my mom) is to “smile more”. Now, I’m not suggesting you smile even when you don’t feel like it (that’s just silly), but there have been studies revealing that smiling may actually influence feelings of happiness. Don’t believe me? Check out this article.
6. The world does not stop for you. Life goes on for everyone, and you have the choice between putting yours “on hold” for other people or focusing on your own progress.
The friends you leave every time you move to a different city or country won’t sit around and wait for you to come back. They’re meeting new people, establishing new relationships, and dedicating their time towards pursuing their own ambitions. Do yourself a favour and learn from them.
7. What you put in your body is what you wear on it.
Essentially, the food you eat and the beverages you drink will eventually catch up to you. I learned this one the hard way.
8. It’s okay to share your insecurities with people, but it’s not okay to let people use them against you.
Revealing your insecurities does not make you less worthy of respect–do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
9. Dulling down your personality in an attempt to fit into the status quo is destructive and will leave you burned out.
Embrace yourself entirely. Those who dislike your authentic self are not worth your time anyway.
10. Impulsive decisions almost always lead to regret.
Try to sleep on your emotional decisions before you finalize them.
11. It is okay to take some time off after graduating high school.
It’s better to spend a year exploring your interests, traveling the world, or working than to waste a full year of tuition on a program you don’t have any interest in (or, if you’re like me, on a program you will drop out of and still have to pay off).
12. Listen to your parents.
Nine times out of 10, their advice comes from experience.
13. Get to know yourself, and I mean really know yourself.
Do things alone, explore your hobbies and interests, meditate, think about your core values and beliefs. When you are in tune with your inner being, no one can make you feel small.
14. Perfection is boring and unattainable.
People’s “flaws” are what make them more interesting. Imagine how dull it would be to look, think, and act like everyone else. We’d be interacting with the same person in different bodies, and eventually, it’d get tiring.
15. Ignorance is ugly.
Learn more about the world and the people in it; recognize that there is more to life than the bubble we were all brought up living in. Some of the most physically beautiful people I’ve ever seen ended up being the ugliest simply because they were too ignorant to think about anything beyond themselves.
16. The saying “kill them with kindness” is one of the most relevant things you will ever hear.
Usually, when people act unkindly, it’s because they want to get a reaction out of you. If you don’t give them anything to feed off of, their plan dissolves.
17. Save money in case of emergencies.
You never know when a surprise vet or car repair bill will pop up.
18. One friend that you can pour your heart out to is worth more than ten “friends” who only care about going out and getting drunk with you.
This one is pretty self-explanatory.
19. The only person you can truly rely on is yourself because, at the end of the day, you are all you have.
Everyone else, and I mean everyone, is simply riding shotgun.
20. You are never too old (and it is never too late) to do what you have always wanted to do.
Whether it’s learning a new hobby or going back to school, do whatever you need or want to do to make your life worthwhile. After all, you only get one.
21. Overthinking is exhausting, and it’s usually a complete waste of time.
No one will notice that one hair on your ankle that you missed while shaving, and if they somehow do, I am 99.9% sure they will not care.
22. Chances are your life will not be anything like what you envisioned it would be when you fantasized about turning 22.
In fact, your life will probably be everything but what you envisioned it would be. And sure, you may be the only single friend who’s a little too socially awkward to flirt, and you may have changed your major five times, but hey, you’re still young, and life is full of surprises so who knows what this year might bring?
Here’s to birthdays and the growing existential crisis that comes with each new candle!