“Hi, my name is Flora. I’m a second year transfer student majoring in Biology.” I don’t know how many times I have said this in a conversation since coming to school at UVA. Ten? Twenty? Five-hundred times? It’s the same run down every time. Hi, what’s your name? What year are you? What’s your major? And then sometimes a rare occasional person will throw in, “I don’t recognize your accent, where are you from?” (Yes, I’m still from Virginia. No, I’m not from South Carolina. Yes, people from southwestern Virginia have a southern accent. My accent really isn’t that thick.) Other than that last one, it’s always about my college label.
Sure, I get it, identifying yourself by these things is what aids others in possibly gauging your interests. It gives people an idea on how old you are, it helps people to know a little bit about your progress in your studies, it creates small talk. Telling others about these aspects about yourself can be helpful; however, it is not truly you.
Yes, I’m a biology major, so you may think I will enjoy or be fairly knowledgeable about this subject. What you don’t know is that I’m incredibly passionate about art and can go on for hours discussing and sharing photos of artwork. What you don’t know is that I did colorguard for five years of my life and concert band for four; the music still flows through my veins and I miss every aspect of performing. What you don’t know is that I work at an Indian Village during the summer and my coworkers are some of the best people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life. What you don’t know is how incredibly much I love dogs and how I miss my dog insanely much. You don’t know me; you know my college label.
This is why I stress this point to you. You are so much more than your college label. Your college label should never define you. Your grades, the college you attend, the dorm you live in, your possible future career, none of these things can tell anyone about who you truly are. These aspects should not be able to put you in one specific box and that be where you belong. When you let your college label define you, you can at times begin to feel alone and as if that’s all you are, just a second year transfer majoring in biology. My life doesn’t revolve around being a second year, I may actually have plans to graduate a year early. My life doesn’t revolve around the fact that I’m a transfer student, I’m not any lesser or greater than any other student at this school. My life doesn’t revolve around being a biology major, I have other fields that interest me just as much.
The next time you happen to find yourself striking up a conversation with someone new, try asking them some other questions. Ask them questions that relate to who they are outside college. Ask them questions that can pull them out of this bubble that we’re all trapped in for nine months of our lives. Strike up a conversation that could bring passion to their eyes. You’d be surprised knowing that you will walk away after that conversation knowing that person much better than you would have if you stuck to the “college labeling” system. If you are unsure of where to start, try with one of these questions:
-
Instead of saying “Where are you from?” ask them, “What’s your hometown like?” This will tell you far more than a city and state ever will.
-
“What’s your favorite color?” Literally, I had a wonderful conversation with someone one day on how much we both love the color purple.
-
“Where do you work? What’s your job like? Do you enjoy it?” This one can at times seem like another form of the labeling system, but sometimes you really do enjoy the place you work and you like sharing stories. Even if you don’t enjoy the place you work, maybe you had a bad day at work recently and you would love to vent to someone about it.
-
“What kind of music do you listen to? Who is your favorite artist?” Music is such a great way to bring people together. The awesome thing is that even if you don’t share the same music taste, there won’t be an outright political debate over country music vs. rap music.
-
“Do you have any pets?” This question makes me light up like no other because my dog is my entire life and world. She is also a total nutcase, so I have millions of hilarious stories to share on her. Better yet, laughing and talking about the funny things pets do makes most people feel much happier overall.
-
“What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time?” This can open up such a huge range of topics to talk about. Everyone has different quarks about themselves and it’s interesting to share them or even discover those who have the same ones as you do.
-
“What’s your favorite show? Do you have any recommendations?” I have actually gained a ton of insight on shows I plan to binge watch over winter break from other students from asking this question.
-
“What’s a fun fact about you?” I remember playing two facts and a lie at my transfer orientation. It’s such a great ice breaker and opens up the floor for so many off the wall topics. Simply asking someone for a fun fact is random, but enjoyable.
You are someone who comes from a place, a home. You are someone that has a pet you love dearly and wish to be able to have here at college. You are someone with siblings, parents, and family members that you may get in the craziest of fights with but you still would do anything in the world for them. You are someone with hobbies and interests that you miss doing because your life is devoted to school work. You are someone that loves to crank up the jams to your favorite music while in the car. You may be someone who is fervently passionate about your religion and miss your home church. You are someone who has friends back home that you would go out and do the stupidest of things with. You are someone that is far more than your college label will ever be.