Every January, I try to make myself into a new, reformed, better person. By February, I’m not surviving, nor am I thriving. March rolls around and…. I just want to go home and sleep for the entirety of spring break. College can be tough! Luckily, I wrangled up 31 holidays to celebrate every day of March, making everything a little more bearable.
3/1: National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day
Do these nuts make you nut?
3/2: Read Across America Day
Celebrate Dr. Seuss’ birthday with this nationwide children’s reading initiative!
3/3: World Wildlife Day
Those pandas aren’t going to save themselves, they barely move. Go outside and hug a squirrel today!!
3/4: Marching Band Day
March 4th… March Fourth… March Forth… get it….?
3/5: National Cheese Doodle Day
Cheese Doodles are those cheese puffs that aren’t Cheetos. You know you love them and their orangy goodness. Just make sure to keep a napkin around for your fingers afterwards.
3/6: National Oreo Cookie Day
One time I ate a whole box of Oreos at once… I mean, they’re vegan so that means they’re healthy, right?
3/7: National Cereal Day
Finally, a reason to wear your Cereal Killer costume from Halloween 2012!
3/8: International Women’s Day
This year’s theme is #PressforProgress, to push forward in our global fight for gender equality! Remember to wear purple!
3/9: National Day of Unplugging
Listen, I love my phone just as much as anyone, but one day screen free would probably be good for my eyes… and neck… sleep patterns.
3/10: Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
51% of people living with HIV/AIDS worldwide are women. According to the UN Women Organization, “Young women and adolescent girls aged 15-24 are particularly affected. Globally, in 2015 there were an estimated 2.3 million adolescent girls and young women living with HIV, that constitute 60 per cent of all young people living with HIV (15-24)” Source: unwomen.org
3/11: Johnny Appleseed Day
If anyone can look hot with a pot on their head as a hat, it’s the apple eating, tree loving John Chapman.
3/12: Girl Scout Day
Call up your favorite local girl scout and buy every cookie they have. Today, you deserve it.
3/13: K9 Veterans Day
Not all heroes have opposable thumbs. Our K9 units are an indispensable part of the military and I want to shake the paw of every single one of those good pups.
3/14: Pi Day
There was always that one person in middle school that could recite pi to the 4938647267th digit. Maybe you were that person. Either way, there aren’t enough digits in pi to show how much I love pie. You say that can’t be real? You’re right, it’s irrational!
3/15: Ides of March
Take this day to be thankful you haven’t been stabbed 23 times.
3/16: World Sleep Day
Sleep all day so you can stay up all of tomorrow and tomorrow night. Save up your energy, girls
3/17: St. Patrick’s Day
Mom Summer is here to say, please stay hydrated and make sure to aim your barf away from your green tutu.
Courtesy of Party City
3/18: National Awkward Moments Day
The day when your brain remembers every weird thing you’ve ever done, from the time you made a weird noise while laughing in front of your 7th grade crush, to burping mid sentence in front of your professor in office hours. This should be renamed “National Anxiety Day.”
3/19: National Act Happy Day
Note that this says “act happy,” not “be happy,” probably because you’ll still be recovering from the day before.
3/20: National Ravioli Day
This calls for a girls’ trip to OLIVE GARDEN!!!! WHO’S READY FOR SOME MEDIOCRE ITALIAN FOODS WITH POUNDS ON POUNDS OF FREE BREAAADDDDDD???
3/21: National Common Courtesy Day
Can you just STOP taking my unassigned assigned seat in the lecture hall? Jeez, be polite.
3/22: World Water Day
Every year, the UN celebrates World Water Day to promote water cleanliness, waste reduction, and how to show kindness to our favorite natural resource.
3/23: National Puppy Day
I’m actually just angry that every day isn’t National Puppy Day???? Puppies deserve to be celebrated every day of the year!! But dang, the puppies on the #NationalPuppyDay hashtag sure are cute…
3/24: Matilda Joslyn Gage Day
Don’t know about our girl Matilda? WELL GET ON GOOGLE, Y’ALL! Matilda Joslyn Gage was one of the leaders in the original Women’s Suffrage movement, as well as an ardent abolitionist and advocate for Native American rights. She was a prolific writer, and the head editor of TWO different liberal newspapers in her lifetime. She pushed boundaries by splitting off from Susan B Anthony’s leadership because she basically thought she wasn’t intersectional enough, only focusing on voting instead of women’s rights as a whole. Matilda is our queen!
Courtesy of Wikipedia
3/25: Tolkien Reading Day
Skip shaving your toes today! Embrace your hairy, hobbit-y footed glory and curl up with a good book.
3/26: National Spinach Day
Kale is overrated. Go back to the OG healthy leaf with a nice spinach and goat cheese salad. I’m pretty sure it erases all of the ravioli I had last week, right?
3/27: National Joe Day
Cutie in chem named Joe? Today is your day to finally make a move, and now you’ve got something to talk about too. Please invite me to the wedding.
3/28: National Manatee Appreciation Day
LOOK AT THEM. APPRECIATE THEM! Don’t hit them with your boat! Keep the ocean clean! Save these sea babies!!!!
Courtesy of Save the Manatee
3/29: National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day
Shop local! Those small stores are often run by the most cheerful, lovely small business owners around, and Mom and Pop have always got the hot town goss.
3/30: National Take a Walk in the Park Day
I love this one! Walks are a great way to clear your mind when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I know you’re thinking, “I DON’T HAVE TIME TO WALK!!” Yes, you do. Go on a walk. Get some fresh air. Feel the allergens accosting your sinuses. You’ll feel better, and perhaps phlemier, later.
3/31: National Tater Day
I had a friend in middle school who always talked about how she wanted to bathe in mashed potatoes, and I think that March 31st just might be her day. I don’t know about bathing in them, but I do know that I’ll be eating my weight in all the spuds I can shove in my big ol’ gob.