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The Conversation You Need to Have With Your Best Friend Before Moving in Together

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utah chapter.

You and your best friend are so in sync people often mistake you as sisters, cousins, or even as a romantic couple. She is your go-to for a good laugh and a much needed shoulder to cry on. She knows you better than you know yourself sometimes, and you fondly refer to her as your other half. The two of you are already basically connected at the hip– so what could be more fun than moving in together?

Before my best friend and I moved in together, people warned us about the risks of living with your bestie. They told us that we would argue more, grow apart, and that by the end of the year we would hardly be able to stand each other, let alone like the experience of living together.

And I think all these people had a good point—but I also think that it can be a really awesome experience living with your best friend. But, before you do move in together, you definitely need to talk and address the potential problems of sharing a dorm, apartment, or a home.

First of all, personal space is a really big issue. You both have to have a clear picture of what the other person expects in how much time will be spent together compared to how much alone time they need. Be conscious of each other’s schedules, and that they may not necessarily overlap well—and that that’s okay! Just because you share a kitchen doesn’t mean that you need to eat dinner together every night. Don’t be shy about letting your best friend know when you need to shut her and everybody else out and have time for yourself—doing homework, watching your favorite show, or taking a nap. Don’t be offended too easily when your best friend does that same to you, too!

Don’t forget about your other friendships. It’s easy to hang out with your best friend and no one but your best friend, especially when you live together, but you should still be investing time and energy in other close friendships as well. It doesn’t make you and your BFF any less close; it’s healthy for your friendship to have other people in your social circle.

Be respectful of each other’s “stuff” and don’t let little things bother you. Keep shared spaces pretty clean, and try not to pick fights about stupid things you know you’ll regret arguing about later on. But most of all, enjoy the chance to live with one of the people you love most in the world and remind each other how much you cherish your friendship—you might not always get the chance to live with your best friend, but if you do, you’ll surely make memories that’ll last a lifetime. 

Her Campus Utah Chapter Contributor