I will admit, I am writing this while sipping from a naked Starbucks Red Cup. The cup is just an ombré red cup, it’s not adorned with snowflakes, ice skaters, or snowmen…but it’s still doing a respectable job holding my Peppermint Mocha. It really is. And honestly, if nobody pointed out to me that my cup was bare, I wouldn’t have even noticed because I am spending all of my time on these more important issues:
1. Not all Starbucks locations are open 24/7. Do they not understand that I am a college student and have to study 24/7 sooo….I don’t get it.
2. The fact that I am a college student and have to study 24/7.
3. The Christmas coffees and flavorings found at Starbs aren’t available starting in September.
4. Just like how I can’t get a mango tea right now because it isn’t June.
5. Ugh, the issue that I’m even going to Starbucks instead of Central Perk with my 6 best friends, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey, Ross, and Phoebe.
6. The real issue that I probably will never have a New York apartment the way Monica and Rachel do and fall in love with my dorky best friend, Chandler.
7. The even bigger issue that Chandler isn’t even a real person in my life…because he’s a character in a television show…
8. Actually, no guy is in my life that is an actual human and not a character.
9. But if a guy was in my life, he probably wouldn’t have a man bun, issue.
10. WHOA, bigger issue, the fact that men, yes men, are walking around with clip-in man buns.
11. Also, how are these people developing these technologies and being proud of their life accomplishments?
12. Speaking of accomplishments and Starbucks, someone actually got a degree in design and then got hired to work at Starbucks designing cups that will be held by millions and millions of people everyday…and the best they came up with was an ombré red cup…
13. I should’ve been a design major. I know the colors.
14. They probably wouldn’t have had to study 24/7.
15. Ugh, we’ve come full circle back to the biggest issue that Starbucks isn’t open 24 hours a day.
And there you have it, collegiettes. Bigger. Issues.