10 Things I Hate About Me

Some days are harder than others. Some days, it would be easier if we just didn’t wake up. Some days, the heartache is just too much to handle, and you feel the wait of the world on your shoulders. You feel alone, self-conscious, nauseous, hopeless, and fear, and yet an unexplainable thirst for hope and new beginnings. You are not alone. It is so easy to compare ourselves and our lives to other people’s, and wish for more. “More” is limitless. “More” is all encompassing. “More” is sometimes unattainable.

By comparing yourself and all you have to other people, you are self-sabotaging. A concept we are all very familiar with, myself included. Comparison and wishing for greener pastures are detrimental to our confidence and overall wellbeing. It is “normal” today to be depressed and anxious. It is not normal for a beautiful soul like each and every one of us to hate ourselves, yet we do. We talk about the things we hate about ourselves, and point out our flaws in the mirror thinking, my thighs are huge, 3 pound off –10 pounds on, and why do I even try? We riddle off seemingly inconsequential thoughts throughout the day like, “I wish I looked like that,” “I am so stupid,” or “I am a failure,” “I am annoying,” or “What is wrong with me?” But the only failure is not actively working to love ourselves more. It is a long, tumultuous journey, but one worthwhile. It is so easy to point out ten, if not more, qualities we hate about ourselves, yet we struggle to name the things we love. Men and women struggle with maintaining healthy body-images and gaining confidence in themselves. I am here to suggest a few things you could do everyday to grow your confidence, but please keep in mind these things may not be a quick fix; instead these things should become heathy habits, assisting you on your way to becoming your truest and best selves.

  1. Celebrate yourself NOW. Believe it or not, you are a perfect 10 right now with the knowledge you have, the work you have put in, and the battles you win every day. Think about little kids and their accomplishments; they are thrilled to draw you some scribbles or learn a new word, and we celebrate with them! Celebrate all you do, especially the little daily things, and let others celebrate you too.
  2. Celebrate with others. No one wants to celebrate alone, so tell people what you have accomplished, and let them praise you for it! Refrain from rejecting their complements and congratulations simply because you think it is a small feat. It is the small victories that amount to huge ones in the end! Talk about your passions and ambitions, also. It can be so empowering to share your dreams and pastimes! And if someone chooses not to celebrate with you, let them be in their confetti-less world, and go back to the people who will. 
  3. Smile. Smile all the time! Smile at random people. Smile at puppies and flowers, and art, and all things beautiful –including yourself. One life-changing step I have taken in smiling at myself every day in the mirror. It is too easy to frown or shrink away from our reflection, but when we smile, our body feels it and we begin to love our reflection.
  4. Love yourself one body part at a time. This a huge challenge. That is okay. Start small, and work yourself up to the harder areas to love. You could start with your smile or your hair and eventually fall in love with your love handles and double chin. You can do it! Focus on one area until you fully appreciate it, and move on until you’re a confident diva!
  5. Mantras for dayz. Mantras are constructed for the individual by the individual and hold meaning specific to them. Mantras can sound like, “I am beautiful,” “I am a gift,” “I am worth it,” or “I am successful.” When you create a positive mantra, put it up EVERYWHERE. Put sticky notes all over your mirror, put it as your phone lock screen, post it on social media, write it over and over, and repeat it to yourself once or more a day. This is so powerful. Do it because you are worth it!
  6. Wear a talisman. Like mantras, talismans are unique and hold various meanings. It could be a smooth rock you rub when you are nervous, it could be a necklace or a bracelet, it could be a ring, it could even be your favorite sunglasses or a hat. Adopt something to keep close to calm you down, and remind you who you are and what your purpose is.
  7. Dress to express. Dressing for you is so empowering. When you dress for you, you abandon that little voice that tears you down and feeds you fictitious opinions from everyone else. By dressing to express, you start to ignore what your mother would say about the outfit and begin living for you and finding and expressing who you are.
  8. Keep a Gratitude Journal. Write in it every day and list all of the things you are grateful for that day. When you are done with the list, write one or two things you are grateful for about yourself. It could be your feet to getting you through the day, or your stubbornness for letting you stay true to you, or your heart because you did something for someone else that day. Whatever it is, be grateful for you too. You are worth it.
  9. Try something new every day. Stepping outside your routine a little every day will keep you feeling young, and open to the world and its adventures! New things can be as simple as ordering something new from your favorite restaurant, or doing your makeup differently. It can also be as wild as going bungie jumping or cliff diving. This is customizable to your comfort levels because even something simple can be uncomfortable. I encourage you to try it, and when you do, document it; keep a journal of all the new things you have tried so when you look back and you are telling your puppy or grandkids about how cool you were you have stories to tell. They will think you rock because you do! P.s. these new things are just a few more accomplishments to celebrate with your friends!
  10. Be unapologetically you. This is the hardest one, and that is okay. It is okay to search and struggle. It is okay to be afraid of rejection and heartache, but it is time to try again and get past old hurt. As Dr. put it, “There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” so embrace that person and let them shine. When you love who you are, you invite others to love you and to love themselves.

Do things for you and live for you. Being passionate, vulnerable, strong, sensitive, and a little lost sometimes is all just a part of the journey –enjoy it and love yourself along the way!

 

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