We all have hard days. We all have days when it seems like getting out of bed will be the most difficult task because it seems so much easier to just hide from the world and cuddle up with some Netflix. We all have seasons of heart break, confusion, frustration, exhaustion, and everything in between. It happens to all of us. In these moments, it is important to remember that it is just a hill. This time will not last forever and when you reach top of the hill, you will have a better perspective of why you have been put through this challenging time. Things typically work out exactly how they are supposed to but when you are in the thick of things, it is hard to remember that. Here are some important questions to ask yourself if you find yourself having a hard time getting though a rough patch.
Is there something you need to change and if so, what can I do to change it?
For some, a change, simple or not, can help begin to improve whatever is going on in your life. Maybe you have a toxic friend that you need to spend less time with, maybe the relationship you are in is causing you a lot of stress, maybe you need to prioritize things differently. Whatever it is, taking the first step in making a change for the better is incredibly brave and can help you power through a bad situation. Taking this into account, maybe your situation is stemming from a friend breakup or the end of a relationship. This doesn’t mean this question still can’t be a good thing to ask yourself. Maybe you have made a big change in your life and now you need to go get your nails done and pamper yourself a bit.
Are you surrounded by people who lift you up?
Who is your support system? Do your friends and family make you feel accomplished, happy, and proud? The happiest people can be the most attractive to negativity and negative people. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is be strong for others when you also feel like you are breaking. It is so important to keep a balance in your life. While being a strong, supportive friend is number one in a friendship, it is even more crucial that you surround yourself with people that give. Don’t let everyone unload on you and force you to keep your problems to yourself. If you want to talk to your best friend about something that is going on in your life but she is too upset about “Jake totally ignoring her at the party last Friday,” let her have her moment and then talk. Don’t ever try to hold everything in because chances are, your girl is going to tell you that you are an absolute queen and you will already feel a million times better.
What is the most important goal I want to achieve today?
We have a tendency to be so caught up with the future but in reality, all we have is right now. Very few people know what is going to happen when they graduate– what job they will get, where they will live, when they will get married, etc. So why do we worry about it so much? Make today the best day it can be. Make time for what makes you happy and if that means staying in bed and watching TV all night while your friends go out, do that. In order to survive in a plane crash, you put your oxygen mask on before assisting others. This advice can carry over into every day life by putting yourself first and doing what you need to do before trying to make everyone else happy. Take life day by day and instead of putting 100% of your effort toward your long term goal, try putting that effort toward what is happening right now and the rest will follow. In the grand scheme of it all, all we have is this moment, so by practicing mindfulness, we can take a deep breath, look around and appreciate every second we are given.
Is your heart happy here?
Are you genuinely happy? Do you wake up (or drink a cup of coffee first) with a smile on your face? Do you find yourself dragging through your day and wishing the day away or do you bounce through life and try to enjoy every moment? Do you spend time looking at the sky and the birds and the flowers? The heart can see even what may be invisible to the eye so listen to it. Listen to that heart and follow it if you need to. You are strong and beautiful and can overcome anything this life hands you. In the wise words of Mumford and Sons, “get over your hill and see what you find there with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.”