Dear Future Me,
I don’t do this often. I mean that in terms of thinking so deeply about my future. But, being stuck in quarantine for who knows how long has transformed my mental state to one of mostly longing. I’m longing to go back to my regular routine and being a member of society right now. I know I am not alone in feeling this (going on social media is a constant reminder) but being stuck at home doesn’t make it any better. Today was probably the most boring day of this whole quarantine — definitely peak boredom. I think the daily constant use of technology to entertain myself mixed in with the daily periodic watching of CNN just to see more people have died has really gotten to me. It’s to the point where I had to take a nap from the headache that all caused.
That was probably all very depressing to read and I’m sorry I had to remind you of it. But, I say all of that not to bring you down, but to help you reflect. That is the main reason why I am writing this letter to you. I may be living through an unfortunate time at the moment, but if you are reading this, that means we made it. That gives me hope that things will get better. My hope for you is that you read this with a smile because we came out of this quarantine stronger than when we went into it.
I have spent my free time trying to distract myself from the constant, overbearing news and instead focus on creating a version of you: my future self. I have more time with everyone at home than I ever have. I have connected with Jessica through beating her in UNO, Mom through her teaching me to drive and Jackie through binging Netflix shows. I know college may be a burden and the quarantine was a unique situation in which we were forced to bond, but I hope you have found a way to continue that post-quarantine. If this situation has taught me anything, it is my deep appreciation for the people I love and I don’t want to lose that.
I have more hopes for you, which I know you are aware of. I hope you got those bangs that I am currently planning in my head. I hope you got a killer wardrobe for second year and I hope you are actually wearing the clothes you bought. Please keep the closet organized (color-coded if possible). I hope you finally got over your fear of driving on the highway because if not….that wouldn’t be great. But, I trust you will get there. I hope you picked up your good habits again. Last week, I worked out and meditated every day. I don’t know why I suddenly stopped, but I hope you picked it back up.
There was a quote in an Amber Scholl’s video I watched yesterday which said, “The ghosts of all the women you used to be are all so proud of who you have become.” My most important goal for you is that you are happy whether you accomplished the previous goals or not and regardless of whatever COVID-19’s ultimate impact was. I am proud of you and my faith in you is keeping me going (along with Postmates because aren’t they the best?!). But, I wanted to remind you of that just in case. Because you were able to come out of an unprecedented quarantine and if nothing else, I think you should be celebrated and uplifted.
Best,
Past Me