Can’t Have 2020 Vision When Blinded By Love

Like many people around the world, I have been hurt before. I have fell victim to the concept of “blinded by love.” I loved too hard and too much to see the problems that were naturally arising in my past relationship and honestly that is what ended up hurting me the most after my break up. I was young and had my first love and it was everything I wanted and more. Yet, there comes a time that love simply isn’t enough, no matter how old you are, but you feel like you aren’t ready to let the other person go just quite yet. From personal experience, I can say this is such a common feeling, but I can also say to try your best and get out of a relationship before it becomes super toxic and ruins you.

Right now, I am in a love triangle and not the love triangle you are probably thinking of. A year ago, I introduced my best friends to each other and now they have been dating for quite some time. At first, everything seemed fine and they seemed great. Yet, as time went on, I realized they lacked emotional intimacy. If anything, I felt like I was each other's significant other because they constantly came to me with problems. There came a point where I sat down with one of them and just asked her at gunpoint, “have you guys said I love you yet?” and then came the water works. She cried and said she wanted to tell me sooner but she felt too pathetic. She said those special three little words, for the first time I may add, and he not only said he wasn’t ready, but he admitted that he once felt love for her but now it is no longer there. Now what do you do in that situation? It is your first time saying “I love you” to your first love, and here you are not only getting rejected but being told they fell out of love with you many months prior. My heart broke for her. I didn’t know what to initially say and I was shocked. After a long crying session, I told her my blunt opinion on the matter. To sum it up, I said, “you deserve crazy, everlasting love because you are beautiful, kind and intelligent. He is a good person, but he isn’t being a good boyfriend right now. Be realistic and if you break it off right now I promise in the future you are going to look back and thank the heavens you did it earlier than later. I know it is scary but don’t be blinded by only the good, there are more things about this relationship that make you sad than happy.” 

In my opinion, there is no cure for being blinded by love. The only help is learning from your past experiences and listening to the people who truly care about you. It is after trauma and heartbreak that you can reflect on the person you once were with your previous significant other. Blinded love sometimes isn’t real love and real love is something everyone deserves, so why be in a situation that neither of you are benefitting from? It seems logical, but relationships are messy, complicated and exciting (basically anything but logical).