Loving Them Long Distance

College is a weird place. We're all here trying to balance our schoolwork and our social life, feeling guilty if we pay too much attention to one over the other. But sometimes, something special happens in between all the "I'm not sure if this is really what I want to do for the rest of my life" and the exasperated "Should I just SNC this class?". It happens between all the late nights that you spent out, including 2am drinks with your besties, and crash courses with your study buddies only 6 hours before your exam the next morning. It happens between all the debates about when you should take your nap (before or after you finish that essay?), and whether or not it's THAT important for you to go the gym today.


Sometimes, something special happens. You meet someone and somehow, they're different. They feel like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer on a cold winter night. They feel like an ice cream banana sundae on a hot summer afternoon. Shoot, they even bring you about as much joy as bottomless mimosas at your Sunday brunch, if not more. And you're not quite sure what it is about them that reminds you of the still peace you feel when your toes collide with the ocean waves at the beach. But very similarly, it's scary at first... You inch away from the cold water shyly until you run in all at once and let it engulf you. You can't quite put your finger on it, but they stop you dead in your tracks. 


It's a funny little thing. Some call it love. Do you remember it? Almost reminds you of your highschool sweetheart, but better. Definitely better. The whole lot of it. Because they almost have this superpower of moving you through time: taking you back to reintroduce you to what you thought you knew about it, yet simultaneously moving you forward by taking you to new extremes of what love could really mean. Not just for you and not just for them but for the sake of evolving from "you and me" to "us". They amplify this already familiar feeling while still managing to be a breath of fresh air. You're not quite sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way your conversations began to remind you of Freddie Mercury's "Ay-Oh" performance with Queen at the Live-Aid concert in 1985 — fun, full of energy, (hopefully) never ending and more than anything, life changing. And that's when you realize that this funny little thing isn't just love anymore... it's being in love. 


But this begs the question: what happens when you're done with school? When the real world comes running at you faster than Usain Bolt breaking records in the 100 meter dash. Suddenly, you're both packing up your things and marching on to what life has in store for you. What comes next? What do you do when life is beckoning you into seperate directions? Well, you have two options really. 


1. Let it go. Start fresh. Start new. And hope, really really hope that you're able to find someone who makes you feel like this again. And hey! Maybe you will. Anything is possible, right? We've heard it all our lives: there are more fish in the sea. And you know what? Love is not the only important thing and for now, you have your whole life ahead of you to figure that out. So, eat as much Rocky Road ice cream as you need to, watch 27 Dresses until Bennie and the Jets is playing on a permanent loop in your head and keep the tissues by your bedside. Take as much time as you need because regardless of what anybody says, there is no shame in heartbreak. And when you're ready, ONLY when you're ready, you get back up and you get back out there.

(GIF courtesy of celebquote.com)




2. You try. You give it your all and you do the distance. It comes with highs and it comes with lows, it comes with "I miss you all the way down to your toes!" And you love them. You love them unconditionally. So much so that not being in their physical presence doesn't seem like it's the end of the world. Because there's Skype! And FaceTime! There's texting, there's phone calls, there's memoji's, there's social media, there's even emailing for crying out loud! And again, you love them. You love them loudly. Loud enough for them to never question it, no matter how much strain distance puts on you. So sometimes that means having to rewatch The Notebook just to hear Noah remind you that "it's not gonna be easy; it's gonna be really hard and we're gonna have to work at it everyday". Because yes, there are other fish in the sea. But if you're lucky, you find one that you don't throw back in the ocean.

(GIF courtesy of pinterest.com)


And whichever you decide to choose, I hope it all works out for you. In the end, both options are valid and both options are fair. Because YOUR feelings are valid and YOUR feelings are fair. So whether you decide to let go or whether you decide to hold on to it, just make sure you're always keeping your best interest in mind. Don't let the fear of the rest of your life hold you back from all the great things that you deserve right now. What is meant to be will be, please remember to never forget that.