How To Spend Your Valentine’s Day Alone

Known by most as Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14 remains Singles Awareness Day for many others. For all the single folk out there, take the time to enjoy your dinner for one and wallow in solitude. Here are 10 activities to celebrate your inability to keep a partner:

  1. Treat yourself! Just cause you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t participate in the commercialization of Valentine’s Day! Trust me, your credit card company and roommates will understand the massive Costco teddy bear. It’s what you deserve. Nay, it’s what you need to get through these endless days.
  2. If you work or go to school on Valentine’s Day, be sure to tell everyone that you’re alone. Talking about how single you are really sets you apart in the crowd. Bonus: your future “One” will be sure to notice your unique ability to whine.
  3. Make a pillow fort at home - you’re sleeping alone every night anyways so you might as well mix things up! Try something new by simply making a comfy fortress out of your bedding. You should also consider creating a pillow person to practice cuddling with in case you’ve forgotten in your months of loneliness.
  4. Make your empty bed feel even fuller by pigging out in bed and dropping a few crumbs for good measure. Who knows? The ants you attract could be the talking kind and help you find a bae a la Cinderella style.
  5. Honor the original meaning of Netflix and chill by actually chilling and Netflixing. Netflix has added a number of buzzworthy January and February releases for all you sad singles to distract yourself to. I hear the new series “You” has some great advice to try in your own love life.
  6. Hit up your friends! You don’t have to be alone on the 14th! If they’re also single, ruin the friendship by confessing your affection for them. If they’re in a relationship, also ruin the friendship by confessing your affection—for their partner. Depending on how that ends up, you may have a high probability of never speaking to at least one of them again! But don't worry, it will just make it an even more memorable Valentine’s Day.
  7. Throw a party, a literal pity party! Music, chips and dip for uno. Plus a pity party provides the perfect opportunity to drown your sorrows in alcohol. You can drink in peace knowing that there will always be one man in your life, and his name is Jose Cuervo.
  8. Following your downfall into drunk crying, call your exes and tell them what you really think of them. If you and your ex are on bad terms, show your anti-patronage of Saint Valentine by conducting a pagan ritual to curse their entire bloodline. Sounds reasonable, right? Likely beheaded by the pagan Romans, it’s what Saint Valentine...wouldn’t have wanted.
  9. Catalog all your flaws. If you’re single, there must be a reason, if not many right? Then, exaggerate them on a Tinder escapade to truly reinforce your worst habits and solidify your self-sabotaging for a memorable Valentine’s Day date.
  10. Cut off some goatskin. For real. Some historians believe the original origins of Valentine’s Day correspond with the Roman pagan saint of Lupercalia, where young men would run through the streets with thongs of freshly-cut goatskin. So if you really want to celebrate the 14th right way, that’s definitely the first thing to try.

With so many ideas to try, you’ll be so busy on Valentine’s Day that you won’t even notice how no one loves you on the other 364 days of the year! Happy Valentine’s Day!