Listen Up: How to Walk the Shame

For the purposes of this article a walk of shame is as follows: sleeping over somewhere often spontaneously after a long night of drinking. Illicit activities may or may not be part of the deal.

We’ve all done it. Crashed at some friend of a friend’s after a night of drinking with no overnight bag purely out of laziness. Even the floor or a bathtub seems like a comfy sleeping option if you’ve drank enough; trust me. So, what should you do once you wake up on a casual friend/stranger’s floor covered in sweat, booze, and regret?

1. Find your thingsEven if you think there is no way any of your belongings ever left your purse, double check. Getting halfway home only to realise that you left your phone charger in the kitchen or your lipstick in the bathroom isn’t a fun time. Opening the fridge would also be a good call, if you leave that place without your vodka, there’s no chance you’ll be getting any of it back.

2 Check your phoneMake sure no one is worried about your whereabouts. There’s a high chance that you crashed and didn’t think to inform your drinking buddies. Even more importantly, check your texts and social media, because there’s an even higher chance that you posted something obnoxious as hell. I’ve taken to responding to event invitations while I’m drinking, so double checking any new commitments is always a good idea.

3 Look presentableIn the very least take a trip into the bathroom before you depart and clean yourself up a bit. Here is a “Walk of Shame Beauty Routine” for reference.

  • Water from the sink can do wonders- use it to tame your brows, flyaways, wake up your skin, hydrate the throat, and wipe away any grim from the evening
  • Hand soap + perfume can freshen up your scent
  • Tooth paste and a finger is better than morning breathe
  • Throw on a bit of lipstick and concealer where you need it
  • At least redo your hair- brush it, put it in a bun or ponytail

4. GTFOLeave. Ideally within half an hour of waking up. You’re hungover, your host is hungover, and you barely know each other. Don’t bother with sticking around for small talk or breakfast. These are the conversations no one will ever remember and both of you will probably be wishing is over. Save yourself the awkwardness and just leave and make your way home.

5. Find water and a snackIf you are going to be spending any amount of time travelling back to your place of residence; get something in your system. The last thing you want is to end up dry-heaving in a park on your way home because your body didn’t have the energy to continue.

These handy tips should result in you home and happy in your bed with plenty of time to sleep off your night, and little to no embarrassing “walk of shame” anecdotes. Safe and happy “walk of shaming” girls! 


Picture Credits:

Cover Picture, 1, 2