I saw an open letter to someone’s “former best friend” the other day, and it was talking about how since going to college, a girl and her best friend had drifted apart. My best friend is back home in the UK, but somehow we’re still as close as we used to be. I wanted to write about why I appreciate how brilliant she is.
Since I came here, I’ve seen my best friend a total of 3 times. I had dinner with her the day I landed on Christmas Eve Eve (which is a new tradition between the girls at home and myself) and I spent New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day with her. I used to see her every day, and there were times when we pretty much lived at each other’s houses during school vacations, so the change has definitely been drastic and a hard adjustment. Her family is my second family, so it’s been weird not seeing them either.
I feel both happy and sad when I think about the memories that I have with her–like our many holidays together, or the countless times we’ve cried with laughter. It’s sad though, because since I left we haven’t made very many memories, and I came here afraid that not being able to do so would ruin the closeness that we had. I was scared that while I was finally living the dream I’d always wanted, I’d lose this person who meant so much to me. Fortunately, because she’s the best person in the world, this hasn’t mattered and it was so dumb to ever worry that it would. She’s one of the most supportive people I’ve ever come across and she makes as much effort as I do to keep our friendship alive. I realize how fortunate that makes me.
The thing is, it doesn’t feel like I’ve been so far away from her this year, and I am forever grateful to her for that. She’s still somehow been there whenever I’ve needed her, even though we’re on different continents in different time zones. Nothing has ever been too inconvenient, even if sometimes it’s taken us days to find a time that suits each other for a chat. I love that we can get on Facetime and we’ll sit there talking for hours (normally while one of us is getting ready to go out). There hasn’t been a single moment of awkwardness, and she gives me a little bit of home when I’m thousands of miles away.
She was so happy for me when I found amazing friends here, too. She didn’t make me feel weird for talking about all these new people, and I love that she’s met incredible people at university as well and feels like she can share that with me. I’ve never experienced jealousy with her, because I have an unshakeable faith in our friendship despite a few irrational and unfounded anxieties before I came.
This year, she was still the person I went to when things happened to me, when everything felt like it was changing, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I needed her advice this year more than ever, and she’s been more than willing to give it to me. Her advice is perfect for me, because she knows me more than I know myself sometimes. She was excited for me, and she always listened when I had things to talk through. In the year we could’ve drifted apart, I’m so thankful that we didn’t. Writing this is has made me both happy and sad, because I’m so lucky to have a best friend like her in my life, but I’ve definitely missed her a lot.
Images courtesy of: Katie Mercer