Throughout high school, I watched my older sister flourish in her sorority, wearing her letters with pride any chance she had. I listened to stories about fun parties, watched her post pictures with her sorority sisters, and heard about the close-knit Greek Life community. Only being fourteen at the time, I dreamed of the day I would run into my own sorority sisters’ arms and find my forever home. However, after going through recruitment twice, I accepted that a sorority is not for me.
Freshman year, I rushed for the first time alongside my roommate. Both of us were dropped from our top houses, and after that we decided to drop out of recruitment altogether. I didn’t plan on rushing again, but after scrolling through some of my friends’ Instagrams who were in sororities, I decided to give it another try. I filled out the online form, and met up with some girls I knew from high school at the “Meet the Greeks” expo.
Rushing as a sophomore who had already rushed before, I knew the next week was going to be hectic. Determining the perfect outfits, experimenting with makeup, and sorting out the jewelry was all part of the game I signed myself up for. In all honesty, I loved rushing. I made amazing friends throughout the week and enjoyed practicing my communication skills. I went into this year’s recruitment with new confidence, knowing which sorority I desired to be in from the start. When bid day came around, I got the house I wanted. I was finally going to start the journey I’d been yearning for since I was fourteen.
However, I didn’t feel the happiness and satisfaction I thought I was going to. I didn’t know what was wrong with me- I enjoyed rushing, I got the sorority I wanted from the start, and already met amazing sorority sisters. I could feel my stress increase anytime I had to go to the house, even if it was for something as simple as a meeting. At my first party with my new sisters and another fraternity, I stood against the wall and waited until I was allowed to go home. I was heartbroken; I was looking forward to these parties for years, but when I finally experienced it, all I wanted to do was go home and cry. It wasn’t because of the people there, but I had to face the fact that multiple aspects of being in a sorority triggered a level of anxiety I was not prepared for.
I reached the point where I called the emergency mental health hotline in a panic, fifteen minutes before I was supposed to be at the house for another meeting. After speaking to my mom and sister about it, they both recommended that if I was already feeling this anxiety one week into being in a sorority, then it probably wasn’t for me.
It never occurred to me that maybe I’m just not a sorority girl. There’s nothing wrong with being one- I believe everyone should do what makes them happiest. I still have great friends who are in sororities and hang out with the girls I met through recruitment this year! This journey allowed me to realize that there’s nothing wrong with me for not being in a sorority. After coming to terms with this, I’ve found other organizations that can give me a tight-knit group of friends, people to fall back on, and a new home with friendly faces at every corner. I’m happiest doing my own thing, and hope whoever’s reading this chooses to do whatever makes them happy, too.