Everyone is terrified of being out in public alone. There’s something about doing something by yourself that makes you feel like you’re being judged by everyone else. A few years ago, in order to combat my own fear of being alone in public, I decided to treat myself to a “date”. I was terrified I would feel others’ judgment, but once I got through the initial panic of being alone, the day turned out to be really fun.
I started this tradition about a year ago and usually do the same thing every time; I go enjoy lunch, see a movie and shop around stores (mostly Target).
On these (usually unplanned) days, my ultimate goal is self-care. I believe the ultimate form of self-care is the ability to enjoy spending time with yourself. You should be able to go through life enjoying spending time with yourself because you are the only person you’re going to live with your entire life, so you better make the most out of it.
Usually, for the lunch portion, I go somewhere I don’t normally go to treat myself. Nothing too fancy, but someplace that gives me some sort of comfort. Whether it’s Chipotle or the fancy cafe in your hometown, you should feel as if you’ve given yourself a meal to appreciate. The hardest part of this step is the fear of eating alone and trust me when I say this, it is not the end of the world to eat alone. It gives you time to appreciate your meal and the ability to tune in on how your body is feeling.
Next, I go to watch a movie. This is probably the easiest part of the date, social-wise. I usually get a snack (peanut m&ms are my go-to) and head to the theater. The movie-date is the most common part of dating myself because I like to watch all of the weird indie movies that none of my friends or family enjoy. The main part of enjoying a movie in the theater has a lot to do with the effect of being in a crowd. In a crowd, no one knows if you’re alone; they just want to enjoy the movie like anyone else there.
And our last stop: Target. Just like any other Target-lover, I can walk in that store daydreaming about my future apartment’s furnishings and look at cute clothes for hours and still not be bored. I can let my brain take a rest and enjoy all of the little knick knacks that I tell myself I will 100% need (but never use).
So, if you want to go and see that obscure indie movie, or if you just want to treat yourself to a nice meal, go out and take yourself on a date. Chances are, you’ll enjoy spending time with yourself and enjoy having some time to yourself. Dating myself has given me the ability to not only reconnect with myself but has also made me more confident in enjoying the time I spend alone.