Taylor Swift’s latest album Folklore is the musical equivalent of a foggy fall morning in the mountains; better yet, a steamy cup of chai tea. It is home to songs that make you want to curl up in a fuzzy blanket, revisit memories of lonesome and failed love, and cry whilst staring out of a window.
Fan favorite August is most renowned for its enchanting melody and seemingly innocent plot. For most, it is an escape to a daydream summer filled with naivety, adventure, and budding romance. But for a niche group of individuals (of which I am shamefully a part), it triggers the painful, ever-so-common memory of a riveting almost-love with a non-committal boy (note that I did not say man). This is the song that takes me straight to my death bed, and I die a little more inside every time I listen to it.
On a scale from 1 (subtle sting) to 10 (death bed), I will be rating August’s most notable lyrics on the degree to which they hit me where it hurts: deep, deep in my feels. (*Note* no physical harm was performed during the writing of this article)
1. Salt air
And the rust on your door
I never needed anything more
Started out sweet, but quickly turned sour. There’s just something about the word needed in reference to a love interest… major ick. Maybe it’s just my PTSD. 5/10
2. Whispers
Of “Are you sure?”
Knowing nothing about the rest of the song, this is GOLD. A boy who asks for consent? The bare minimum, yes, but still a respectful king. Applauds ~for now~. 2/10
3. August sipped away
Like a bottle of wine
Wine… perhaps the only word that gives me a rush of dopamine. This may be problematic. I blame the boy who made me hate this song. -1/10
4. Will you call when you’re back at school?
BAHAHAHA. Girl why are you even asking that question? Of course he won’t. He is a 20-year-old frat boy. He will most definitely NOT be thinking about your mid-summer frosty runs while tripping in a basement… 7/10
5. I remember thinking I had you
Oh, the naivety. We’ve all been there before; thinking that someone cared about us in the same way that we cared about them. My rose-colored glasses are currently rolling in their grave. 8/10
6. Wanting was enough
For me, it was enough
And here we go; back to boys doing the bare minimum. It’s always just enough to keep us reeled in. And to think I actually accepted this poor treatment at a point in time??? Never settle ladies. 9/10
7. To live for the hope of it all
I vividly remember the days in which the name of said boy appearing on my phone ignited a rush of excitement within me. Never again will I smile at a text message. If you EVER catch me slip, you have full permission to slap me across the face. 8.5/10
8. Cancel plans just in case you’d call
CANCELING PLANS FOR A BOY??? HUGE NO-NO. I know you’d rather hangout with him then go to that dentist appointment, trust me, but don’t get him thinking that you’re available whenever it’s convenient for him. Plan to see him when it’s convenient for YOU. 1000/10
9. So much for summer love, and saying “Us”
It’s the false promises for me. 9/10
10. ‘Cause you weren’t mine to lose
Painful, but also reassuring? It is the comfort of knowing that if it were meant to be it would have been that lessens the blow. 4/10
11. ‘Cause you were never mine
Well this just hurts. What better way to conclude this ranking than with perhaps the most accurate five-word summarization of my failed talking stage. 15/10
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be digging myself a grave.