Alright, this was not a topic I’d ever imagine writing about just a short year ago. Unless you’ve been living under a ginormous rock by yourself with no internet connection for the last eight months, yes, we’re living in a pandemic. You probably are by yourself (or at least feeling like you’re on your own) since there’s still so many in-person activities and socialization that’s been cut from our lives. With that, you’ve also probably realized how not-so-easy it is to make new friends in this odd new world. Here are some tips for building new friendships with fresh faces while living in a pandemic.
- Put yourself out there
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In both live and virtual environments, it can be difficult right now to connect with new people. In person, there are masks covering facial expressions and body language that might be signaling discomfort and a bit of distrust. Virtually, well, I think we’ve all had at least one awkward online chat conversation by now, whether it be during a FaceTime call or in a breakout room for class. Try your best to spark conversations with others when you can. At this point, most of us really miss the feeling of spontaneity and budding social connection that a good conversation with someone new can bring; even though it’s definitely trickier to get the chat going with someone you know little to nothing about, just know that they’re probably feeling similarly to you. With some effort, this person could become a go-to friend someday soon!
- Be positive
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What is easy about talking it up with strangers you might befriend is complaining about the pandemic and online schooling, time alone, and the physical distance it’s forced us all into. While your feelings of grief and frustration over the current state of the world are absolutely valid and you have every right to feel and express them, you might find it more uplifting to talk to your new acquaintance about the things you love and enjoy and hopefully find a bit of commonality in them. Staying positive in your thoughts and words with them will probably mean you will enjoy your shared conversations more than if you’re getting super negative about everything going wrong these days. You’ll finish a good talk looking forward to the next one.
- Be consistent
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Once you’ve gotten good conversation going and have begun investing in getting to know one another, it’s really important that you don’t let up on the gas pedal too much. You’ve got to keep your effort consistent. Relationships – friendships included – take work. They’re definitely not always easy, and trying to build and nourish one during a pandemic is far from it. But as difficult as it may seem, developing true quality friendship doesn’t have to be as hard as you might think. If both sides are putting in the work, then both sides are going to continue to invest in each other to hopefully get to that special state of trust, loyalty, and companionship we crave.
- ‘The Comfortable Convo’
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With the pandemic, you really have to be considerate and respectful of others in terms of what they are and are not comfortable doing socially. It’s important to figure out these boundaries, for lack of a better term, before trying to make any in-person plans. If you’re both comfortable doing something distanced with masks on, go for it! If one of you isn’t comfortable with that, then that’s certainly okay, too. Although the pandemic has lasted a good eight months now, there’s still a lot of fear of getting sick or getting other people sick, getting put in isolation on your college campus, or risking getting your loved ones and other friends at home sick by asymptomatic carrying. You have to be respectful of one another’s boundaries with the virus still out and about and very contagious. If you can’t meet in person because of these circumstances, there’s plenty you can do socially online together. If you make the most of what you’re able to do safely and comfortably, you’ll still gain quality time spent with one another and be able to further your friendship!
- Give yourself credit!
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Navigating any kind of friendship in this new normal is undoubtedly difficult. Give yourself a pat on the back for trying and doing your best with everything going on around us! Don’t be too hard on yourself if things online don’t progress as well or as quickly as you want them to. You’re working at it – at building these new friendships and making positive connections in a safe and considerate manner – and work does pay off! It’s one thing to complain about loneliness and lack of companionship from your couch at home without having even attempted to reach out to others and put yourself out there a bit, but showing up with that effort, some gratitude, and a positive mindset can very well be game-changing. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can amidst all the craziness of the world we’re currently living and growing up in. Your outlook and mindset just might be what attracts those good new friends you’ve been looking for!