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The 7 Kinds of F*ckboys You Meet in College

Navigating dating in college is tough, especially when you are simultaneously drowning in tests, projects, clubs, sports, social events, and other commitments. Unluckily for us, college guys often don’t make this journey any easier. While not all college guys are lost causes, a great majority fall under the category of “fuckboys.” Fuckboys, in short, are the guys who are a double edged sword. They’re often super hot, like Adam Levine hot, but consistently ruin our lives. And despite this, we always seem to go back for more. What follows are 7 stereotypical fuckboys most girls will meet in their college career.

 

1. The frat fuckboy: You meet him in a sweaty basement and he’s cute, but after 10 minutes he’s either relentlessly trying to convince you to go upstairs with him or making out with your supposed bestie, Stephanie. He also spills his cheap beer on you, keeps chest bumping his “bros”, never texts you the next morning, and straight up ignores you when you see him in the dining hall.

 

2. The athlete fuckboy: He’s extremely hot, fit, and all your friends are jealous that he likes you. Also, is there anything better than getting to go to a sports game and wearing your guy’s number? He’s super fun to be around, but his busy schedule and the constant squad of females around him will leave him telling you, “I’m just not a commitment kind of guy.”

 

3. The hipster fuckboy: He knows all the best coffee places around campus, smells like pine needles, and wears the softest beanies. He’s always down for an intellectual conversation, or watching some foreign film no one’s ever heard of. His downfall however, is that he’s kind of pretentious and tries just a little too hard to be different. He also thinks sending emojis is “lame”, another true sign of a fuckboy.

 

4. The stoner fuckboy: He sells weed out of his dorm room, wears the same sweatpants for three days in a row, but he’s chill and always down to order Domino’s at 2 a.m. Unfortunately, his love for the drugs and money is stronger than his love for you, and he can’t ever remember your anniversary. Or sometimes, your name. Plus, you can only listen to so much Bob Marley.

 

5. Aspiring musician/Guy in a band fuckboy: He’s really edgy and is never in class because he’s always prepping for a gig. He can be really sweet, and maybe will even write a song about you. But, there’s always hundreds of other girls throwing themselves at him because he has swoopy hair and can play guitar and he’s not willing to give up his groupies for you. He also always yells at you when you play Taylor Swift in the car instead of his own CD, another signature fuckboy move.

 

6. The older guy fuckboy: Your mom isn’t too fond of you being a freshman dating a senior, but you assure her you’re totally mature enough for this. You’re infatuated because 1) he’s old enough to buy you and your friends cheap bottles of Strawberry Burnetts and 2) soon he’ll be a real life adult with a real life career. Disappointingly, he takes forever to respond to your cute texts because he’s too busy adulting. He also eventually leaves you for someone his own age. How rude. 

 

7. The intellect fuckboy: With him, you always have someone who can help you with your chem homework and calculate the tip at a restaurant in two seconds flat. Cuddling up and watching Jeopardy or The History Channel is surprisingly fun with him. However, he always low-key makes you feel like you’re not good enough and will never be as smart as he is. He trivializes your hobbies and interests, and thinks rom-coms (especially your fav, The Notebook), are dumb. Being a trophy wife isn’t in your cards, so you kick him to the curb.

 

Wishing you the best of luck in your future dating endeavors, collegiates! Remember; keep your dreams big, your standards high, and don’t fall for any kind of fuckboy, no matter how nice his abs are. 

 

 

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Sam is a sophomore Psychology major at the University of Connecticut. She loves writing, working out, puppies, and all things Ryan Gosling.
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