1. The **** Boy
Urban Dictionary: They will screw over anyone and everyone as long they get what they want.
Ya know, the guy who is decently attractive, and unfortunately, he thinks he is way hotter. He can easily get a girl to take home nightly; however, don’t catch feelings if you lay victim to his antics! They are known to love and leave. Normally, they can be spotted in their most comfortable spot: the bar with the most single options available. They will lead you on, then conventional be “too busy” the next day to take you out as they had previously promised. They make for the greatest friends though, just no more than that.
*AVOID, AVOID, AVOID*
2. The Guy Who Can’t Take a Hint
They normally strike up conversation with a pick-up line that resembles: “Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten I see.” That was flattering when we were 12, but now it’s just super bizarre. They will normally buy you a shot and then make you so uncomfortable that you regret giving him a chance in the first place.
3. The Creepy Foreigner
He won’t speak English and he will assume that your girl’s night was an invitation for him to start grinding on you. You will awkwardly smile and introduce yourself and try to remember whatever foreign language fragments you may have picked up over the years. Normally results in you just singing Trey Songz “Foreign” in your mind.
4. The Guy Who Just Compared You To His Ex
Oh, that’s so cool you like me! Oh, that’s so cool you think I am really pretty. Oh…you think I look like someone you once knew? Oh. I look like your ex. Oh, okay, yeah. You still love her? Oh you broke up *literally* years ago. Dude. Chill. No need to reminisce on the past this much. I was just trying to have a fun night, but no please continue with this riveting conversation on how she broke your heart. I’m captivated. *seriously how do I leave this conversation*
5. The Wanna Be Hugh Hefner
No no, not the 80 year old Hugh, the hot 22 year old version. We have all seen him, he easily has 4 girls at arm’s length. His chill to pull ratio is well above average. The one key difference between The Hugh Hefner and the **** Boy, is the Hugh, doesn’t necessarily want to play you. Normally he is just an attractive guy with a good personality who gets girls by being cool. Unfortunately he is the guy you want but will never truly have all to yourself. No one wants to be a girls next door.
6. The Guy That Thinks Buying You A Drink Gave Him Ownership
He bought you an AMF (the go to drink for those wanting to get lucky), he now aimlessly follows you around the bar and assumes you are going home with him at last call. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize my worth was a $7 drink. Don’t worry, he will indeed be super mad at you when you go home alone. His unreturned investment (HA!) will result in him holding a permanent grudge. *eye roll* Bye Felicia.
7. Your Ex (ugh actually the worst)
Ha. Ha. Ha. Your mirror pep talk about how to handle this encounter fails you epically. You see him across the bar with some brown-eyed babe and the jolly green jealousy giant comes out to play. Just don’t be the girl who starts screaming and causes a potential scene. Best option? Go find the hottest boy you can and flirt your booty off! I promise his cowboy Casanova eyes will make you forget about who your ex is currently with.