Yes, you saw that cover photo correctly. Jack Sparrow may not belong within the walls of sorcery school, but we know other student who do.
But first, let’s address the issue of all the Arkansas State University students lurking around and complaining.
There’s always that healthy dose of competition around homecoming. I have my friends from different houses, but let’s face it, Gryffindor rules. Did I mention that my sorority is Gryffindor? You’re Hufflepuff. End of story. Filthy muggles.
I also love going into the library and doing things like this. You know, writing an article with Harry Potter gifs instead of doing my paper. There’s always that one person glaring at me as he wanders by searching for a vacant spot. Sorry, bro. Maybe you should apparate to the Union computer lab.
I once made a few friends in college. Once. I couldn’t really tell if they turned me around or if I turned them around, or if we both screwed one another up so equally that the lines became blurred.
Does anyone else remember waking up to your roommates’ one-nighter the day of a room inspection? You know, with the RA pounding on the door and a bottle of Vodka on your desk? Anyone?
University Chemistry I would be the equivalent of first year potions. University Chemistry II would be the equivalent of Azkaban. Or Hell. Or both.
I also never wanted to leave my dorm room as a Freshman. I liked my cramped little space with all of my crap in its crappy little space, with no crappy person to touch it except me. I also didn’t feel like unplugging my mini-fridge.
Is Qualls the equivelent of Viktor Krum?
I almost forgot that this week is Row Week. Either I should get out more or people should stay in during these dark times. I’ve heard that the Headmaster is not approving of all this indecent wand exposure.
There’s also that one friend who just doesn’t know how to “turn up”. I am that one friend.
Everyone is now reminded of how much Butterbeer we can actually hold and how well we can or cannot dance like a Hippogriff.
Don’t lie to yourself. It’s hard to fit in at Hogwarts. You make friends as easily as you lose them, and turning over to the dark side is way more tempting than studying for your O.W.L exams. Study or fit in?
Studying doesn’t make you cool. Floo powder and your new broom makes you cool, riding around the dormitories as you tell all those mudbloods that your father sits in the Minister’s Box during every Qudditch match.
I’m tired of hearing everyone complain about Greek Life and broom parking.
Not everyone gets accepted into the Auror program right away, but that’s okay.
When someone asks me: “Oh, why didn’t you go to _________ University?”
You’re welcome.