Shark Week. Hell Week. “Blow” week. Call it what you may, period week is not exactly the highlight of your month. When finals, parents and guys are getting the better of you, you should never let that thorn in your side be one more crack in your windshield. Instead, save yourself from the torment of period week by learning to love it. Don’t end up like this poor chap:
So, let’s talk about loving the P-Week:
1.) It’s an excuse. If you haven’t used your period as an excuse before, you are seriously missing out. An excuse not to work on your paper right now, an excuse not to be the one to clean the apartment this time, and the best of all, an excuse for hours upon hours of Netflix. Seriously, get with the program. Use your period as the best excuse. Really. Milk it for all it’s worth.
2.) It’s a get-out-of-jail-free card. Controlling your hormones during Shark Week is like trying to put a harness on a chicken, and if you’ve never done that, it’s f**king hard. Especially when it comes to that guy in your life, he will generally accept a hug and a tearful “I’m just on my period” apology, and graciously so. If he’s worth a penny, he may even treat you to ice cream.
3.) Eat your heart out. Literally. Did you know that you lose iron and have a slightly increased metabolism when you menstruate? That’s great news, considering that most of us are hongray to the max during that week. Or just always hungry. Forever hungry. We love food.
4.) It makes for humor. You can’t tell me that referring to a tampon as a “girl cork” isn’t hilarious.
5.) You don’t have to hit the gym. Yeah, just don’t go. After rolling out of bed and crawling to class, go home and eat a big ‘ole burrito. Because you just deserve it.