*Disclaimer* The views expressed in this piece don’t necessarily reflect those of Her Campus at St. John’s, St. John’s University or Her Campus Media.
By now you have all heard Donald Trump’s controversial comments in regards to abortion and the statements that came from his camp after his interview.
In an interview from 1999 he stated “I’m very pro-choice”, having been brought up in New York City, considered one of the most liberal cities in America. On March 30, he gave a very different answer in an interview with Chris Matthews from MSNBC. When he was asked if women who receive abortions will face punishments, once the procedure becomes completely illegal, however any men that are involved in the procedure will not face punishment.
I’m just going to go ahead and say it…I had an abortion. I was 19 years old and it was the summer after my freshman year. It wasn’t the result of a one night stand, as a matter a fact the father was my then-boyfriend and no, this didn’t put a strain on our relationship, if anything we grew closer because of it. We may no longer be together as a couple but we will always be connected through this and I will forever be grateful for his unwaivering support through it all.
Before this, the only people that knew had been myself, my boyfriend and of course the staff at the clinic. Being from a Catholic family, I never had the guts to tell my parents, especially my mother. I don’t know that they’ll ever know and if they ever do know, I highly doubt the news will come from me. I know you must be thinking that I’m racked with guilt and regret if I’m writing this piece and I do regret it but not for the reasons you may think. I’ve never considered myself to be maternal, except when it came to my dog and I mean come on, who isn’t a mom to their pets? I don’t regret it for me; I regret it for all the women who can’t have children and those who have lost children. I realize that the decision I made was selfish in many people’s eyes but if I had to go back, I make the same decision.
I still think about it from time to time and I can still tell you the exact time and day that it all happened. I remember everything leading up to it, the pre-procedure appointments, all of the tests that were run and of course the actual procedure. I remember the procedure like it was yesterday, the feeling of being pulled under by the anesthesia, the brief moment of pain so painful that I felt it through the anesthesia and what I felt was like a baby elephant was stepping on my uterus. I remember being shaken and my name being called out over and over in order to wake me after the procedure was over. I remember feeling groggy for a good hour after it was over.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget a minute of that day, not matter how old I get. I realize I’m opening myself up to immense criticism, a few of my friends may even piece together little bits from this article and realize who exactly wrote this. The news may even get back to my parents and who knows how that could go but after carrying this secret for a couple years, I couldn’t care less. Especially when a presidential candidate who could very seriously win his party’s nomination is spewing such garbage or when an entire party is calling for the complete defunding of the clinic that not only helped me when I was making this difficult decision but has also helped countless women avoid having to make this decision by providing access to birth control.
I can’t imagine going through this procedure in some back alley room instead of the safe, sterile clinic where it was actually done. Abortions are not an easy topic to discuss but would it be easier to discuss women dying because of back alley abortions gone wrong? Because this is the exact topic we’d be opening up ourselves to have if the GOP has their way and abortions are made completely illegal.